Long ago and far away, part 1

1 minute read time.

At the age of 56 I returned to motorcycling after 30+ years.

What brought this on, I hear you ask.

Life is short. Enjoy it while you can. I've always pined for a bike,almost got one several years back, but now I figure I can justify it, thanks to the cancer. That seems a weird thing to say, but I think it's true.

Cashed in some pension and bought the bike, a Ducati Scrambler "Icon", 803cc.

I got the bike in February and ride it whenever I have the energy and the weather is fair.

The energy question is more about my mental state than my physical ability to ride the bike. Some days I just can't be arsed, even when it's beautiful and sunny.

I've suffered from depression on and off for most [all?] of my adult life, and it became a serious problem for me before my first cancer diagnosis in 2011. Having cancer was the icing on the cake.

My latest (Feb 2017) prognosis is 1 year to 10. Inoperable / terminal. But the depression is, for me, the life-limiting condition, not the cancer. The cancer will get me in the end, true, but the depression is what prevents me thriving in the time I have left. Unless you've experienced depression, or have been close to someone who has it, it is very hard [impossible?] to appreciate how shitty it can make life.

Anyway, I typically go for a ride two or three times a week, as a kind of therapy, to prove to myself that I have life in me and in defiance of the cancer and depression.

That's it for now. Thanks for reading :-)

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    This is a little bit odd, but my husband nearly died from a major heart attack aged 45 - he had always wanted a touring bike and as we lived in British Columbia in Canada, we went and bought one on our Credit Card (we were nuts) The next thing I was talked into heading down to California - well it was one of the most wonderful holidays I have ever had and I have had many in my 74 years. He is still with me aged 77 and the bike is still in our garage. In recent years I have had the misfortune to end up with cancer of the uterus - not the worst as it is conveniently in a lovely little package all ready to go. A dear friend who aged 45 had a hysterectomy for other reasons and I  toddled off to Torquay for an epic lunch that ended up  a uterus removal celebration  - we had a terrific time, I nearly ended up having an accident (radiation induced)  Above all try  very hard to retain your sense of humour, have a good time when and where you can - I know this is difficult but  hang in there and try your best.

    Kitykat xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Thomas 255! Your bike looks great! Just wanted to share my story and in a roundabout way agree that in some ways the depression can be as bad if not worse than the cancer bit! I've suffered for over 20 years with anxiety + depression. Been for lot of counselling taken medication which has sometimes helped and sometimes not! Then along came breast cancer + treatment an life goes on but still stuck with the anxiety+ depression! I should be enjoying my life now and making the most of it but best part of the week is spent indoors depressed and or worrying! To add to the situation my husband passed away in Feb this year (cancer again) and one of the last conversations we had was about how we had in his words "done it all wrong"! What he meant by this is we had put our lives on hold waiting for him to get better instead of carrying on living! He had multiple myeloma which was treatable but not curable! So I want to empathize with you regarding the struggle with depression but also to remind you to try and do things even though you have it as well! Good luck on your journey .GILL X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Thomas Well done you.In the late 50s 60s we had motorbikes. A Triumph Bonnie and a Norton The days before crash helmets when the wind rushed through my hair on the back of the bike. Leather jackets and jeans (that had to be shrunk by sitting in a bath of water and then drip drying in the garden).Really miss those days.

    My bucket list includes a trip down Route 66 on a Harley. Not sure now that I will be able to fulfil that one, especially on the Harley but subject to next lot of results might be able to do it on a coach trip.

    Wish I had learnt to ride a bike but was happy sitting in the back at that time. Time too short now to bother with lessons plus need strength to get ibike to stay upright.

    I truly hope your depression does not stop you enjoying the freedom of the open roads ....just mind the potholes.

    Barbara

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Kitykat, Gill and Barbara.

    Sorry I've taken so long to thank you for your encouragement.

    Blogs can be like that, I think. The urge to post something, for me at least, is quite rare. So today is a special day!

    I'm still out on the bike most weeks, weather permitting :-)

    All the best.

    Tom.