Today is a sort of special.
It's 12 months since I got my motorcycle.
I've mentioned the bike in previous posts but, for me, there's one thing special about having it. It has given me a longer-term view of my remaining time on this planet.
I generally have trouble imagining myself more than a few months down the road. This isn't just because of the terminal cancer (I was given 1 to 10 years in 2015). It's also because of depression which pre-dates the cancer. I have recurring thoughts of ending things and find it really hard to imagine myself being here six months from now.
Getting the bike has helped me break that limitation, at least to some extent. A year ago, as I hadn't ridden a motorcycle for 35 years, I didn't have the benefit of "no claims discount" to reduce my insurance premium. A year on and, Yay!, I have 20% NCD. I recall, back then, thinking ahead those 12 months, anticipating the insurance renewal.
There's also all the biker gear I have purchased since getting the bike. I normally keep clothing purchases to a minimum (a) because I could snuff it soon, and (b) because I'm slowly losing weight and the fit of clothing is hard to pin down... in the last 12 months my waistline has gone from 38 to 35 inches... I don't think it'll go much lower. Having the bike and a sensible attitude to rider protection, buying the necessary clothing was unavoidable.
Having the bike and getting out on it regularly has boosted my spirits in times of low mood. Knowing that my time is limited, and having invested in the bike and clothing, I see it almost as my duty to be out on the bike, flying the flag for those of us living with cancer. To coin a phrase, "A biker with cancer is still a biker" :-)
The cancer situation has moved on quite a way in those 12 months and I do wonder whether I'll see another 12, but I'll make the most of my time while I still am able. Not just the biking, but also the choir activities and friendships... they all make life special. It's as if the cancer is making my life more intense, each moment of joy is amplified and the people who matter to me become all the more important and valued.
Until next time.
