I am struggling to deal with my husbands cancer.

Im so sorry to read this as you are so young, my husband had esophageal cancer last year and had an op to remove it, unfortunately the op didn't go to plan as he got infections and had to have an emergency op to remove his esophagus, stomach and some of his bowel, he can't eat and fed with a tube, I have become his carer now, I can relate to how you feel in a way as I grieve for our past life that we had and just get on with things as I'm sure you do, I feel like running away and screaming that cancer has ruined our lives as it has yours, it's normal to feel scared and it's heartbreaking to watch the person you love slip away I hate it, my heart goes out to you and I know everyone tells you to stay strong but I'm afraid that's all we can do x

I am the same honestly I just wish thing where back to how they use to be. I feel I don't get any time to myself I'm working full time, studying a degree and juggling 3 children plus being on hand for my hubby 24 hours a day which I honestly wouldn't change. I feel so guilty to feel like this I look at my husband and know he has the weight of the world on his shoulders I feel so guilty and selfish I just feel like today is a bad day I really needed to speak to somebody and to be honest feel like I have nobody. I have a fantastic family and lots of friends but so frightened they will judge me for thinking like this. Xxx

I know exactly what you mean thinking people will judge you, it's tough with children we have 9 between us as both been married before plus 2 grandchildren we are bringing up as our own and I'm with you on the school runs and basically running yourself ragged trying to keep everything going and being there for everyone else, but whose there for us? I get bad days where it really gets to me and yes feeling selfish and guilty is a big part of it but it's normal to feel that way we feel helpless because we can't make them better, it's tough and the worst thing in the world to cope with but your doing great and don't beat yourself up about how you feel, everyone in the same situation knows exactly how it is and unless they have been through it they will never understand what it's like, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you x

Good morning I'm hoping today is better. I'm going to get sorted and do something with the children and hubby. You are doing a fantastic job too and it's nice to know where not alone. Like you say sometimes we just need somebody to talk to and somebody to listen and not judge us. I'm hoping the hubby is in a better mood this morning or we won't be doing anything. Xx