I have to honest I've never written a blog before although a lot has been written about me but not connected to my cancer, but I would just like to share a little of my journey with you.
I am the mother of nine children ( well most are adults now) and very sadly one of my sons was murdered 9 years ago in south east London I will share the story of Jimmy with you one day.
In July 2016 I happened to go to the toilet and passed some blood and panicked but went to my doctors and to cut a long story short at the end of August was diagnosed with rectal cancer after that it was one long round of hospital appointments scans blood tests etc thankfully I was told it was treatable so at the end of September I had a operation to remove the tumour however 10 days later I had a leaky Bowel got sepsis and nearly died but the hospital care was so good I recovered and then the worst part "Chemotherapy".......
I started the chemotherapy but after 4 sessions made the decision to come of it, I think I had just about all side effects going including blood clots but the the worst being chemo brain it wasn't an easy decision but I had the backing of my family and I feel for me it was the right decion but only time will tell.
My poor husband has been through the mill with me waking him up in the middle of the night crying "am I going to die do you think it will spread " and whatever answer he gives its not right I have spent many a day saying sorry and the next doing the same again ....and oh the anxiety in the very pit of my stomach the fear the loneliness, things I've never experienced before.
However one thing I do have is hope and I will fight this with all my heart and I am so grateful for all the wonderful people I have now made friends with and our wonderful medical staff.
Much love M xxxxx
