Arrived at my 9am ENT appointment. Consultant examined the lumps in my neck and told me he wanted me back that day to do a biopsy. He said the sooner we get a diagnosis the sooner we can start treatment. He had a look at my throat by putting a bendy microscope thingy up my nostril. It didn't hurt but felt pretty strange.
I was asked to go back at 16:00. I was feeling pretty scared about the biopsy... not only the results but if it would hurt. Sure enough it did. Despite being having the local anaesthetic it was quite painful and when I told him it was hurting my ear he said he needed to stop because it indicated being on my nerve. So he couldn't get the core sample and took two syringes worth instead. He said it would 'probably be enough for diagnosis'.
We went back to his room and he asked me if I had any idea what it might be. I told him I'd consulted Dr Google even though I know you shouldn't and concluded I most probably have lymphoma. He nodded his head and said 'you're right, your scan results show you have swollen lymphnodes elsewhere in your body'. There it was right there... clarification that he believes it is too. He asked me to wait in reception while he arranged for me to go in to have the lymphnode removed next week. I was called in a room by a lady who asked if Wednesday 12th April would be ok? Whilst I was agreeing my consultant came in and said these words to me 'right Kelly, I will have your biopsy results back in a week. Usually we ask people to come in for the results but seems you've already told me you know what it is then are you happy for me to phone you with them?'. I agreed. I didn't realise what I was doing at the time. I didn't realise that between now and then I would begin to think the worse, worry sick, cry over the simplest of things, stockpile a huge list of questions. I never slept properly for the whole week. Couldn't go to work the day the results were due in through risk of crying every 2 minutes.
Then the day arrived. I was ill. Every time my phone rang my heart sank and I felt like I was going to be sick but the call never came.
At 14:30 I couldn't take any more so decided to call my consultant. Well his secretary. I can't explain how difficult it was..... I was physically shaking. I explained why I was calling and she said she would have a look. She seemed to take what felt like an hour while I could here her typing away at her key board and then she returned....... I'm sorry..... your consultant is on annual leave this week. Are you kidding me????
I've been waiting all week and making myself physically ill with worry and yes not even there, he must have known he was going to be off when he told me he would ring me??? Then is someone else from his team going to call me instead? She said she would phone me back, which she did and told me another consultant from the team will ring me after clinic. At 16:50 I got the call. 'I'm sorry Kelly but unfortunately there wasn't enough tissue sample to get a positive diagnosis so we will have to use your lymphnode we take out on Wednesday to re test and get the results in 2 weeks. 2 weeks!!!!! I can't take this waiting I need to know now. It's torturous.
