On The Rollercoaster

1 minute read time.

I had a real 'down' day yesterday, cried lots and kept wanting to just shout 'WHY?' at the top of my voice. Stupid thought I know, but I want to know what's going to happen next - although deep down, I'm sure I'll be recommended for chemo. My lumpectomy was successful with clear margins, but 2 of the 3 sentinel nodes taken out tested positive. Back in I went (on Saturday 8th April) and I had an axillary clearance. Pain wise, it's ok - I have a drain in and apart from sharp nerve-ending twitches every now and then, I'm comfortable and have even done some knitting this morning.

All the research I've done suggests that as a pre-menopausal 50-year-old, I will have full on chemo followed by radiotherapy and I'm really just asking whether people on here think that's the most likely option that I'll be offered.  I asked my BC nurse if I should prepare myself for chemo prior to having my surgery on Saturday and she said she thinks it would be a good idea. Done deal then or will the results of the axillary clearance have any bearing on the outcome?

The waiting is tough but I suppose what will be, will be anyway.

Hannah x

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Hannah

    Sounds like you are being extremely brave, people like you give hope to anyone else out there going through similar treatment. Unfortunately I don't know the answer to your question but I just wanted to say that you can get through this and carry on living a happy life. you are doing fantastic and I hope that you get through this hard time. Always here for a chat if you ever need it, carry on being brave! you can do this! x 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Hannah

    I've been there, in the supermarket, walking down the street.  My head screaming WHY?  and then wanting to scream it out loud.  And then Why me and how come you all get away with it?.

    Of course I don't know how many others carry the same thoughts whilst walking around.  If nothing else I now never assume anything.

    I'm glad your operation went well.  If they offer chemo thing of it as belt and braces.  Another thing to stop the cancer coming back by mopping up all the cells that might have got missed by the surgeon.

    Good Luck xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Hannah

    I've been there, in the supermarket, walking down the street.  My head screaming WHY?  and then wanting to scream it out loud.  And then Why me and how come you all get away with it?.

    Of course I don't know how many others carry the same thoughts whilst walking around.  If nothing else I now never assume anything.

    I'm glad your operation went well.  If they offer chemo thing of it as belt and braces.  Another thing to stop the cancer coming back by mopping up all the cells that might have got missed by the surgeon.

    Good Luck xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you both for reading and responding - I'm alright this evening apart from the numb, twitchy, burning right arm/shoulder. Had a tightness in my chest while in the bath this morning and when BC nurse phoned she said 'don't get a blood clot!' - well, excuse me, but I certainly wasn't aiming to if I could help it!

    Have as a good weekend as this thing that joins us together will allow!

    Hannah x