it's been 7 hours and 15 days since I was wheeled into surgery for my lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy and what a rollercoaster of pain and emotions I've been on since!
i know it's really common now and so many women have BC and surgery and biopsies, but I never imagined feeling like I'm just another article on a conveyor belt as much as I do right now. Did I miss the part about how much pain to expect, how my emotions would swing like a pendulum from good, to not so good to downright bloomin' awful in a matter of hours? Did I miss the bit about how painful a build up of fluid can be and whether I should massage it, move it or leave it?
I'm very lucky to have a wonderful husband who can't do enough for me, a daughter who is studying and works around making me drinks and food and a son who while temporarily out of work, comes round every day to care for me so I won't be found wallowing in self pity any time soon, but my heart really goes out to anyone managing this nightmare alone.
I'm waiting for the results that will determine what happens to me next but have decided to try and stay calm - after all, I can't change them so I need to brace myself for the worst while hoping for the best.
Who knew what this year was going to bring eh?!
