Nothing Compares To This

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

29 Mar 2017

it's been 7 hours and 15 days since I was wheeled into surgery for my lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy and what a rollercoaster of pain and emotions I've been on since!

i know it's really common now and so many women have BC and surgery and biopsies, but I never imagined feeling like I'm just another article on a conveyor belt as much as I do right now. Did I miss the part about how much pain to expect, how my emotions would swing like a pendulum from good, to not so good to downright bloomin' awful in a matter of hours? Did I miss the bit about how painful a build up of fluid can be and whether I should massage it, move it or leave it?

I'm very lucky to have a wonderful husband who can't do enough for me, a daughter who is studying and works around making me drinks and food and a son who while temporarily out of work, comes round every day to care for me so I won't be found wallowing in self pity any time soon, but my heart really goes out to anyone managing this nightmare alone.

I'm waiting for the results that will determine what happens to me next but have decided to try and stay calm - after all, I can't change them so I need to brace myself for the worst while hoping for the best.

Who knew what this year was going to bring eh?!

FormerMember over 7 years ago

Hi Marie50. It is lovely that your family are around and supportive.

I have also had lumpectomy and Sentinal Node removed and had first chemo last Wednesday.

Advice from my BC nurse/hospital in general has been good but I have also Googled relentlessly which my husband finds bizarre but which I find comforting.

I have good support from family and some friends, however, I find myself getting really cross with the 'I had it too - let's talk' comments which have mainly come from work colleagues who don't know me too well.

I do tend to be positive but at times feel like others are trying to steal ownership of MY cancer - totally irrational but that's how I feel!

I hope we can both ride out the emotional roller coaster without becoming too crazy in the process.

Take care.
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FormerMember over 7 years ago

Hello and thank you for responding!

i had the call I've been waiting for yesterday from a very falsely cheerful BC nurse who asked me to go in on Monday 3rd April (2 days!) at 10am, which will be 3 weeks after my op. She said 'I havent seen any of your results yet' which I find difficult to believe as surely she would have been in the MDT meeting when I was discussed on Thursday (which is when they meet)???

It's so difficult trying to 'be positive' and not think the worst, but to balance that with bracing myself for something awful to come out of the surgeons mouth and hope I'm not going to fall apart.

My biggest fear is more surgery but as my lump had 'infiltrated' the chest wall, I think it might be a possibility that there was no clear margin and a 2nd attempt could be required. Did you have clear margins and clear nodes? I find really varied situations on here - my BC nurse told me that if lump was removed successfully and nodes clear, I'd probably only need RT, but that seems so rare on this site. At just 50 and having always been fairly healthy, this is just such a blow, but I was raised by an incredibly strong woman so know I have it in me to beat it. My husband tells me off for googling but I too find it comforting - I had so little advice from the hospital after all.

How was the chemo and are you likely to be able to work (if you do) - I wish you all the best with it and thank you again for sharing your BC with me x

Hannah
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