Just Had 'The' Call

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Hi All,

I am at work this morning before going off for an ECG (pre-chemo) this afternoon and in the midst of all the chaos, I received the call giving me the date of my first chemo - it's Tuesday 30th May.

I had this sudden need to cry once I'd put down the phone and I want to dash off for a weekend in France for the Bank Holiday - one last hurrah! perhaps before life changes for a while.  We have a friend's 50th to attend on the Saturday evening but I really don't feel in party mode.  I think I just want to be with my husband in one of my favourite places watching the sun rise and set and drinking a few nice glasses of rose wine...

I had to blog right now because I'm also filled with rage again - stupid and senseless I know - but I feel so bloody angry that this is happening to me and I put on such a strong and brave face for everyone else that this seems to be the only place I can rant.

I'll just wait now for one of you to sensitively tell me to 'pull myself together!'  And then life will continue - that school budget will be forwarded to team leaders, those overtime forms will be processed and the sickness absence will be sent to HR...

XXX

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