So, I've always felt a bit different to other people and nothing ever sat 'right' with me. When people were reacting to things, or explaining things, or when I was explaining things to them, or reacting to situations or questions - something always seemed a little off. Then I made friends with teachers who had training in spotting kids with challenges, and they made some comments - totally independently of one another as one lives in England and the other Scotland - about my behaviour that made me think and investigate. The more I investigated, the more I thought they were right - and everything began to make sense. I started seeing a psychologist type person last year as my oncologist thought it would be a good plan, and I raised my suspicions with her. She gave me a test and confirmed it, it seemed it was more than highly likely that I was autistic. Specifically that I had Aspergers and it was a confirmed, unoffical diagnosis of it.
Now, I've absolutely no issues with this tag being added to the many others I have, though I have met people who have fallen apart one getting the diagnosis. And I don't get it. It's just a name that explains why you think a little differently to other people, it doesn't change you as a person, it doesn't change life expectancy, it's just a tag on your toe that can easily be ignored if you want to. Anyways, I digress.
So as I say, I emotionally react differently to situations than 'normal' people might. Sometimes this can be seen as a bit weird, but with everything I've had going on with my health I'm def thinking it's a good thing. I say this because my initial reaction to any sort of bad news is "How are we going to fix it?". I react to situations in a very practical and logical way, and cannot understand how other folks function when they are being ruled and controlled by their emotions in these sorts of times.
Now, don't get me wrong - the initial shock is emotional. But as soon as you're over that - maybe an hour or two? - move on to the more practical issues. That way, you'll actually get through whatever is going on instead of wallowing and driving yourself insane - or causing yourself mental health issues.
You might be wondering why I'm writing this and bringing it up? Well, it's not actually cancr related at all. A friend of mine has been told by her husband that he wants a divorce. It's come out of the blue for her apparently, though having known them for some years now it really shouldn't have done as that relationship never seemed healthy and they both seemed totally mismatched. Also, he hadn't actually looked at her or spoken to her for 3 months prior to asking for said divorce. Sooooo.....
Anyways, initial shock, sadness, anger, etc I get. However, we're now 3 months down the line - roughly - and she's getting into more and more and more of a state. To the point where if she doesn't change something, she's going to have a breakdown. But I'm watching her, listening to her, supporting her where I can - and just not understanding her. I can't get why she doesn't just decide that it's enough emotion, turn them off, and then get on with the practicalities of separating their lives. Instead, she's on the brink of making herself ill - and I am ENTIRELY at a loss as to what to do!
Just this evening she was ranting at me because she'd asked him to get involved with getting the house ready to sell, he'd apparently asked what needed done, and she'd told him to pick something and do it. Now, there is no list for him to pick from, she just expected the most bone idle, non-observant, least domesticated man ever, to spot something that needed done, then to do it. He said he couldn't see anything that needed done, so did nothing, and so she's furious and upset and etc. I'm just sitting here thinking, if you want something done, tell him what needs done. Even better, write a list of things for him to do and send it to him so you've proof of it and he can't deny it. Instead, it seems like she's cut her nose off to spite her face.
But as I say, if there's a problem - find a way to fix it, and don't make yourself ill over it. Come up with a plan, follow it, and it'll all be done and dusted ASAP, and you'll be mentally stable at the end of it. Don't lose yourself in whatever emotions and thoughts are going on in your head - whatever the bad news is you're dealing with - just...... turn them off and reason it all out like I do.
Everyone should be a little Aspie!
