(This one was written back in Jan/Feb 2013, but I had nowhere to post it)
It's official! I've passed all the tests and background checks, and I've been allowed into one of the most exclusive clubs in the world. To get in, the tests were really invasive and intrusive, and for a while it looked like I wasn't going to get in. But then, after one last check that was the most probative yet and which I had to fight hard for, they found what I had been missing and I was allowed in!
So now, I'm not sure what happens next other than I've to wait for an invitation to the main building and the HQ of the local branch of the club. It's quite new looking when I've gone by it before, large and imposing, making all on the outside wonder exactly; what it looks like on the inside, what happens in there, who gets to go, and what it means to be a member. Well, all those answers will soon be answered for me at least, because the invite has been extended and I have my first date to go!!!! Excited doesn't begin to cover all I feel right now!
The day has arrived, and I've got myself ready. It took a while as there's a really strict dress code for this first attendance and I've not to wear any metal. So I've decided to be a bit risque, and head on down to the club without a bra on! I check myself in the mirror, a number of emotions swirling in my chest for this first meeting and then I head off to the taxi that's been waiting outside for longer than I think the driver wants.
It's not far from my house to the HQ, and it's not long before I can see it peeking up from over the trees as we get closer. Getting out, I pay and walk towards the large glass doors, feeling the eyes of those on the street on me as I head ever closer. I don't look at them, and I don't see their expressions, so I don't know if they are looks of; curiosity, envy, disgust, pity, or something else entirely. My eyes are locked on those doors and the circle they spin, wondering where to go once I cross that transparent partition that separates the club from those outside. My hand clutches to the invitation in case my attendance is challenged, and my eyes glance to it to check the details on where the coat check is and I cross that great divide - there's no going back now.
In a confident and assured manner that is not felt inside, I cross the foyer without glancing at anyone meandering around and press the button for the lift. The nerves and excitment have been sapping my strength, and the rigorous testing to get in probably had a little to do with it too - so the stairs are definitely out. The mirrors in the lift reflect my own image back at me, but it isn't the same face looking at me that I've known for all of these years. There are a few differences to it that I note and frown at, wondering if I can change them back and return to my former self once more. Perhaps through my membership here I'll be able to reclaim that which I've lost and has been changed, but only time will tell and there's no time for that just now as the lift doors open up and show my the main floor of the building.
It's bright, and there's music from a piano dancing lightly through the air that is held up by hushed whispers and voices that can barely be heard. The vivid colours on the walls from the paintings bring colour to the otherwise bright and airy area that is beautiful in its own way. However, there is no time to enjoy the art or the music, as I have an appointment to keep. Quickly, I find the right door and announce myself to the receptionist there. She smiles and says I've been expected, and points me in the direction to head straight through. I follow her directions, and I can hear the low thrum and beat of the type of music you would normally expect at a nightclub. It would seem there are perhaps different areas for those with different tastes and memberships, I've been to clubs like that before, where each floor has a different style of music playing so that it caters for all people. It seems this club is very much the same as that, where all are welcome regardless of your background and social status. Just so long as you have that special something, you are admitted.
It's not long before someone collects me and leads me into the room with the beat. It's almost soothing in its rhythmic thrum. My eyes close as the boom-ba-doom-tish sounds. It's backed up by a sound that could be described as a vroom, but it is not the vroom of a car or motor vehicle, but of it's very own. The beat is so loud, I can feel it vibrating deep within me as if I am vibrating right along with it in the most pleasant of ways. The music changes, and only a beat boxer would be able to succinctly give an onomatopoeic word to describe the new tune and I find myself simply relaxing into it rather than trying to follow along with it. However, before I know it, it seems my time has come to an end and I'm asked to leave.
I'm not sad that I'm leaving though, that's not one of the feelings within me. I know I will be back as I have been admitted as a member and it is a lifetime membership whether you attend the club buildings or not. This was simply my first attendance, and who knew what the next was going to hold as each visit would be different from the last apparently. This membership was going to be exciting, scary, sad, depressing, and pretty much every emotion under the sun. Because that's what happens when you join the ranks of the cancer sufferers club.
