I'm sure you can guess from the title what this post is going to be about..... YUP! Constipation!
So, you've got cancer, you've maybe got a surgery or two to go through, and then treatment to endure. Then comes all of the side effects from those, be it; pain, lethargy, nausea, dizziness, drop in appetite, bits not working as they once did. There's the stress and concern over what this means for your future, and any family you might have or have wanted. Then there's the loss of your work/job and your relationships, whether that's partnerships or friendships - or both. All because you're not the same as you were before the diagnosis, and things maybe break down and change in ways that aren't the best. Then there are the hormones that go beserk, depending on what you've got and how it's treated. And is that enough? Nah. You're so not handling enough already. So the cherry on the top? See all of those medications you're now on? Specifically the opiate painkillers? Well, they're going to bung you up and stop you from going to the loo!
So the pain killers, and the diminished appetite, and the lack of movement - all means you're now constipated.
You can feel it as it builds up. There's that constant pressure telling you that you will need to go shortly, but shortly never arises. Then there's the pain in the small of your back as the pressure grows. Then your stomach begins to hurt - not the medical one, but the one you point to as a kid when someone says 'where's your tummy'. And so you're just uncomfortable in so many little ways that you barely register. Then your appetite drops further, because technically you're still full as nothing has been passed out. And maybe your acid reflux/heartburn/acid indegestion gets that little bit worse.
THEN it finally clicks, and you think back and try to recall when the last time was that you had a proper poo...... and you realise that it wasn't this morning as you normally do. And it wasn't the morning before, or the morning before, or even the morning before that. And you're just not sure you can actually pinpoint when it was that the last poo happened. And it allllllllllll makes sense. FFS.
So onto the loo you go, trying to make that pressure and the imminent feeling more like an immediate feeling. But all of the pushing gets you nowhere - or maybe it'll look like a rabbit used the loo rather than a human. And when you wipe, you find that all that's happened is you've managed to bleed from the womb - again, for the 3rd time that month/week/has it ever really stopped in the last few months? No? Darn it! So what's next? You've got those horrid Movicol sachets, but those are last ditch attempts. So lets try some chocolate, or some icecream - or some chocolate ice cream. That normally shifts things in a hurry the next day, what with lactose not really agreeing with you. And on the plus side, it's MUCH nicer that those nasty sachets! So..... omnomnomnomnom! Bed. Sleep. Wake. It's 5am and you've just choked on your own bile. Gag, vomit, choke, ow, omg that burns. Sleep. Wake............. Nothing. FFS.
You're definitely not eating anything else, your stomach is NOT happy with you. Which leaves just one thing....... Movicol. Now, having had them before, you know the trick is to take them with more liquid than it states. And that the liquid should be fizzy and flavoured. Then the slimy, minging taste and texture is well hidden! This blockage has been around for a while, so 4 sachets it is..... Maybe you should listen to the doctor who told you to take a sachet or two a day as 'maintenance', but nooooooo. You said you never had issues with your bowel movements. Well, who's laughing now huh?!
Nothing happens for a while, and you're considering taking some more. But no. There it is. There's movement in the force, and you can feel a shift happening within. Now comes the debate. Sit and wait, or move now and then wait upstairs on the loo? You've rolledthe dice thus far, so why not roll it again? So you sit and wait, keep on doing what you were doing as if you weren't a fully loaded weapon with a hairpin trigger you have no control over. Suddenly, you feel it move, and your bum cheeks are clenched tightly as you waddle upstairs. You just make it - though you know in the past you haven't always - and as you sit and relax, it feels like you're a bath full of water and someone has pulled your plug. You can almost see your stomach shrinking, and the feeling of relief is almost indescribable. The weight has been lifted, and you actually feel empty. After a while, you can leave and return downstairs - only to have to return two or three times further as the day progresses, just to be rid of the dregs that were left behind.
Thank goodness you had those evil sachets, because the discomfort that had barely registered in the grand scheme of things has gone - and in the place you're in, the removal of an ache or a pain or a discomfort is the best thing in the world, and you feel like you could weep for joy. The best has been released, and you're free once more.......
For now!
