Hi Ikeep telling myself"one day at a time", most days that's what keeps me going.
I'm thankful that 12 months on and two different types of cancer I'm still here.
" I shouldn't complain there are so many others in a worse situation than I am, be grateful, pull yourself together, stop being selfish" I hear myself telling myself.
But some days it doesn't feel like that, some days I feel angry for no reason, I forget that having invasive surgery IS treatment when I tell myself " well I didn't have to have chemo other treatments."
It's only just over 12 months now since I was diagnosed with Entrometrial cancer
; within three weeks I had had an MRI and a radical hysterectomy and lymph nodes removed.
I listened to all the advise and rested, didn't drive until I was ready, did my exercises, didn't pick up the Grandchildren, etc
At my 3 month check up it was obvious I had a severe vaginal prolapse so the last 9 months they've been trying to sort it.
nO complaints about my treatment or follow up, the NHS have been fantastic.
Still trying to come to terms with that, when I'm diagnosed with Skin n Cancer , a malignant melanoma , so two more operations.
Thankfully that was caught in time.
So as I said I know I have so much to be thankful for.
My family and friends have been amazing, I am a person of faith, but still sometimes I feel no one really understands how I feel or understand , that each time I have a pain somewhere in my body I worry it's another cancer.
Sometimes I just lie awake for hours.
I feel so tired and fatigued some days.
I can be grumpy and snappy I can't find the words to explain the emotions I am experiencing.
I don't always understand them myself!
I try and explain that Cancer has changed me,I'm not the same person. But as much as those closest to me try and understand I know they don't.
Having read so many others blogs on this site it has really helped to,realise so many of you do understand.
I suppose today is the first day I've had the courage to share all this with others apart from my IPad!
Thanks to those of you who have shared and it's been so supportive.
Tomorrow is a new day so One day at a time....
kenders58
