A Funny thing happened to me on the way to the out of hours service

3 minute read time.

Had an interesting day yesterday in a funny sort of way.

The day before, I decided that, since it would be windy crossing the Severn Bridge I needed a sun/rain hat that wouldn’t blow off. I had thought of wearing my normal hats and holding them in place with a coloured silk scarf tied under my chin like the ones you see women wearing in old pictures of open top cars. The problem was what colour best suited me, so I decided to buy a cross between a Crocodile Dundee and a Huckleberry Finn in a sort of pale khaki. It has a high tech thingy to tighten the straps under my chin and it cost me less than £7 so you can see I went for quality. The shop apologised that they were quite out of dangly corks so I shall need to drink 12 bottles of wine between now and July 1st – the things one does to get the right image! I’m not sure whether my hat is more a Croc Finn or a Huck Dundee.

Yesterday I spent the morning lounging in the sun in my garden reading and drinking coffee. When I showered and got dressed I noticed that my ear had been bleeding again (I had noticed it first last Wednesday) and, since I had been feeling under the weather these last few days, made a mental note to make an appointment to see the doctor next week.

In the afternoon there was a Macmillan Coffee “Morning” in the village so I decided to go. It was not well attended; there were only about a dozen names on the sheet and mostly women who were having a makeover at the bottom of the room. I took off my Huck hat (there were no dangly corks on it at this stage) and asked if they could do anything about my hairstyle at which they laughed. Some people are cruel.

After my coffee I decided to go for a short walk and went as far as Cwmhedd Fisheries. This walk is uphill most of the way and traffic on the narrow road was quite busy, so I often had to stop to let the traffic pass.

I returned home and decided that I would check on the internet about the causes of bleeding ears and was horrified to be advised to see a doctor urgently since it could be due to a perforated ear drum or even cancer. Why do these things always happen at the weekend?

I rang the out of hours service and spoke to someone who went through a questionnaire making a note of my symptoms. I was then told that someone would ring me back.

An hour later, a nurse phoned to ask about my symptoms and had obviously been given the wrong information. She then asked me to visit the out of hours service in town and offered me a 6.30 appointment or a 6.40 appointment. I opted for the 6.40 appointment since it could have taken me at least 20 minutes to get there. I could have taken a 5.30 appointment if it was available since when I arrived they were running 2 hours late. There were supposed to be three doctors there, but there had only been two. When one doctor got to the end of his shift he just walked out leaving a waiting room full of patients, including three parents with young babies. Luckily the lady doctor stayed and valiantly soldiered on whilst more and more people arrived. Later 2 more doctors arrived and real progress was made in the queue.

I was lucky since I was called to see the lady doctor only 90 minutes later than my appointment time. She was efficient and had checked my symptoms (she had also been given the wrong information – it was like a game of Chinese whispers!) assured me that my eardrums were intact but there was some inflammation so she gave me some penicillin tablets. When I checked the information leaflet inside I laughed out loud. One of the side effects was “... your faeces (otherwise known as poo) ...” I think these instructions must have been written by Little My!

Of course another side effect is no alcohol whilst on antibiotics, thus delaying the collection of corks for my hat.

Thankyou to all those wonderful people who have donated to my Just Giving page in aid of Macmillan. I was sorry to hear that some of you have had difficulties in donating on that page, but these problems have now been sorted. For those that need it here is the link again:

 www.justgiving.com/Colin-Dancer

Thankyou for reading this far, or for skipping the boring bit and jumping to the end to see if the butler really did do it.

Odin xxx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Odin,

    You should never google about ailments - it could take years off your life 'cos it's all bad news, especially the American stats - and don't they just love stats?

    Your hat sounds most fetching. Did you persuade anyof the coffee morning makeover ladies to sponsor you? I must say their response to your query about your hair was most uncalled-for. There's an old joke which you'll probably know, for which the punch-line is "Wear the fox hat". If you say it in a funny accent (for anyone who doesn't know)  the meaning becomes clear. Oh dear, giving away my crude tendency. As if you weren't aware.

    Anyway, that out of hours service sounds pretty typical, though in my neck of the woods the docs are usually foreign and forget to prescribe one vital item of medication as my beloved found when he accidentally rubbed his chilli-covered fingers in his eyes and screamed. What a relief that you finally got to see a doc who actually observed the Hippocratic Oath to the letter.

    i hope the antibiotics will soon start kicking in, though the negative aspect - no alcohol - is a bit of a nuisance. Still, only five days I expect (only!) and I could send you some corks if you're stuck. And what a huge coincidence to get a leaflet composed by LM! Small world eh/

    Carry on reading and sunning yourself - i can only do a half-hour at a time before I start melting & have to come in - but watch the suncream, it tends to stick the pages of my book together

    Tararabit,

    xxx

     

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Well paddyman:

    It would seem that the NHS is not run all that different from what we have here in the USA.

    I spent 3 hours at the doctor's office on Thursday being shuffled from room to room (I'm sure they think that if they keep you moving you won't notice the time lapse - BEEEP FAIL).  

    Then I get an urgent phone call on Friday morning to say the blood test showed a danger of clotting (no-one even mentioned i was getting checked for that) and could I PLEASE get a CT scan asap!  I duly re-arranged everything else I had planned and went for the scan.  The lab tech was a butcher and almost elevated me off the table as she dug around in my wrist for a vein to insert the IV (sorry if that was TMI for the squeamish) "Oh you might have a small bruise there" she says smiling sweetly as she rejects that site and looks about for another!! 3rd time lucky but I now have a hand and wrist that looks like i'm a junky who's been the victim of domestic violence!

    I call my doctor's office at 4:15 to get the results only to find out they had all left for the long weekend (it's memorial day on Monday)  at 1PM and could i kindly call back on Tuesday!!  "I'm sorry but test results are not an emergency, so no you cannot talk to the doctor on call."  How the bloody hell does she know if it's an emergency or not, has she seen my scan? and oh yes  "Have a nice weekend!"  AARRGGHH

    3 hours later my doctor calls (from home) to say scan was negative!

    Huge relief but no advice on what to do for symptoms (shortness of breath) that took me to her in the first place or explanation of why the blood test came back the way it did.

    .... and all of this we pay a huge premium for every month!!

    Hope you are enjoying the sun, I would send you some corks for your hat but knowing the postal system they either wouldn't arrive by July 1st or Home Land Security would detonate them thinking they were some sort of terrorist device.

    Take Care

    Pam

    P.S. sorry this was a bit long winded too (which is kinds ironic seeing as I'm short on that at the moment but I know the butler didn't do it 'cos I've read all Hercule Poirot's cases mon ami)

     

  • I am shocked to hear the butler isn't a real policeman so it must have been the gardener with the pitch fork.i really like you cork idea I'm sure there are enough of us to donate to the cause while your on the antibiotics.A great pity you where not offered a make over and got laughed at.Can we have a photo of you in the hat when you have assembled enough corks.You may also need to magnetise your boots in case it's windy we wouldn't want you blowing off the bridge but you did then we would have to change our sponsorship from walking the bridge to sky diving off it.Ear infections are very nasty so take care of yourself I have had a perforated ear drum years ago when my daughter was two and clipped me around the ear with a toy plastic hammer don't know where she got such violent tendencies from.The lady doctor deserves some praise for carrying on shows there are some who actually do care about their patients.A great pity you will have to put off the gardening again now you have an infection so big hugs put feet up much love Cruton xxxx
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I used to have a hat with corks for when I went fishing, had to get shot of it as I kept hooking the corks!

    I hope when you walk over the bridge it is not a windy day, you wouldn't want to lose that hat, perhaps having a couple of bottles of wine uncorked either side would keep it in place?

    Glad to hear that the ear is now being sorted, make sure you adhere to the instructions on the tablets or you will never hear the end of it.

    Hope you had a great day.

    Tight lines

    Tim

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Odin,

    So glad you got your ear sorted even if the wait to see the poor understaffed doctor was a long one.

    Shiny new hats eh?? Good luck with your walk and I hope it's a perfect day for walking.

    Take care

    Jan xx