got the heeby geebies about visit to hospital tomorrow to see the oncologist, I ended up having a stupid argument with my hubby over nothing really, so got in the car (first time ive drove since surgery) and went to the beach, I sat in the car park, watching everyone come and go, get their ice-cream, walking along the sea front, felt really sorry for myself, I shouldn't, there are a lot of people a lot worse than me, so I got out of the car and had a walk along the sea front, cleared my head and thanked god for how lucky I am, I was just a bit cheesed off, didn't think my family understands how i really feel, and when the fone rings, they say.oh she's fine, no problem,.........they havn't got a clue, what it feels like....bloody cancer takes over you're mind never mind you're life....... i sound pathetic but got it off my chest now, so ignore me.
FormerMember
to get it out of your system.
But until you know, you are as good as your last good news. It is as difficult for your nearest and dearest as it is for you, only you know how ill you are feeling. They don't, and might assume that you are feeling awful, when maybe you aren't allt hat bad.
Try to enjoy the good bits, and make sure there are plenty of them. This can be a really precious time for you and your family, apart from the cancer that is.
Read all the jokes here and laugh yourself silly, look at the worst possible scenario and tell it to go away. Maybe it won't change anything, but you will feel a whole lot better in yourself.
The trouble with this bloody cancer is that it doesn't just affect your body, it plays with your mind as well. That's the worst bit in a way. My three-monthly check-up is on Thursday and, although I feel fine and have no reason to be worried, I'm still starting to get a bit up-tight and won't be happy until I've seen my blood results from last time and am out of there!
And let's face it, much as our friends and family love us, they'd mighty soon get fed up if they were being fed doom and gloom all the time. They're probably telling people 'fine, no problem' because that's what they want to believe themselves. Don't be too harsh, it's hard for them as well.
