It's 7:41 am, February 4, 2010. At 10:00 am my husband and I will be seeing a radiation oncologist and it is possible my husband will even get a radiation treatment today.
I have been looking over this excellent website, reading some blogs, some posts in discussion forums. But I can't really settle, can't really concentrate. Too intent on that upcoming appointment.
Still, life goes on. Dinner has to be thought of, laundry folded, beds made, kitchen tidied. Kids sent off to school. My husband and I are raising our 2 youngest grandsons, boys who are 12 and 15. The lights of our lives! Their Mum died in 1999 and their father, our son, went off the rails for a long time. But he's back on track now, and last night I told him some of what's going on with his Dad and he went very quiet and after a time he said, "I wish you hadn't told me that". The odd thing is, when I tell my Mum - she's 85 - she is going to say the EXACT same words.
Our other son reacted differently. But they are such different personalities they might as well be from different planets. That's the trouble with kids: whatever you learn about how to deal with one is of no use whatsoever with the next one. :) My "boys" are 44 and 38, but your kids are your kids forever, right?
I talked to my 2 youngest sisters, both of whom were enormously saddened. It's been a tough few years for our family, what with one thing and another.
So here we are. My husband is still asleep, time to wake him up. He will probably go out to the farm and set the crew working before we leave for the cancer clinic.
I wish this day was over.
