An upsetting experience

3 minute read time.

Hello to all my friends, I don't really know how to begin and if I make no sense then I'm sorry.Amongst the problem of my secondary breast cancer on my spine, it seems that I have an overly thick lining to my womb. anyway a biopsy of said lining came back clear but because it's not normal to have such a thickness it was suggested that they the oncology gynaecolgists would like me to have a camera inserted into the womb to have a look see.(those ladies that have had problems like this will know what this means). Now I am 53yrs old and I've had 5 children so internals and smears have never been a problem for me, but I did request that a female doctor perform said procedure. No problem I thought until last week when I arrived to have this done, on arriving at the clinic I was told it was a male doctor who would be doing it. Now I'm not stupid I know that if there is a chance there is a cancer in the uterus then obviously the sooner it's found and treated then all the better for me. So I was prepared to have the procedure done there and then until I walked into the room to see the dr who was going to be in close proximity to my very private place.

First they had not got my case notes so no history of the fact that I have severe metatises on my sacrum(base of spine) and have dificulty lifting my legs to walk never mind point them towards the ceiling.

Then the whole persona of this man made me feel very uneasy and the nurse left the room so I was alone with him, please don't get me wrong he did nothing to me other than start to tell me what was about to happen, but when I asked a few questions like how many local anasthetics was he going to be using and where exactly, what would be the after effects etc. His tone of voice was quite stern and he sounded angry at me for asking. Still on my own no nurse. I was getting a bit tearful as I was feeling very anxious and this man actually sat there and told me I should be grateful for every day and smile.

I was getting very upset when the nurse returned and I told the dr I didn't like the way he was talking to me and then I said I didn't want him to do the procedure. He became all apologetic then, but I asked the nurse to please bring my husband down to me and the dr asked me if I wanted him to leave the room which I did.

Hubby very cross when he saw how upset I was and wanted to make complaint there and then, I wanted to just come home and try to work out why I had been so effected by this man.

We came home and I have spent the last week sorting out in my head what it was that upset me so much and having lost what little sleep I do get I have come to the conclusion that yes I am more emotional than I have ever been but that wasn't it , I've had some tough times in my life and got through them just like lots of other people especially here. The fact is that that doctor frightened me and I don't know why, but I trust myself and if someone is giving bad vibes I don't want them near me never mind doing such an intimate procedure you need to trust the person and I didn't.

So sorry it's been such a long winded post and I'm sure some of you will probably think for goodness sake woman get on with it. Idid request again a female doctor and the appt came this morning with a male. So letter of complaint is now on it's way.

Oh forgot to say went to see GP about it and she was appalled at my treatment and advised us to complain.

Love to all.

Vee. xx

Anonymous
  • All doctors should show sensitivity but gynecologists especially should have extra 'lessons' in how to show kindness and courtesy to vulnerable patients. They're not looking at a gammy leg, they're up close and personal with (as Debs so charmingly puts it) your 'lady-bits'. Perhaps this guy is needing to put down a peg or two so don't let is pass otherwise he and his kind get away with appalling behaviour.

    KateG

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello to all, thank you so much for your support and kind words. I have had a new appt through and it is with a male doctor. I rang through straight the way and said my appt should be with a female, Nothing on screen to say this(screaming loudly).

    Explained to very nice lady problem she says if I ring on the Friday before, then the rota will be made up and which dr will be doing that clinic.

    Meantime if it is a male then more time is going to be lost before I get the test done.

    So watch this space for any more news.

    Once again thank you all for being there, sometimes it feels very lonely having cancer cause I don't want to worry hubby and daughter so being able to talk on here and get some feed-back from people who know what I'm feeling is wonderful.

    Love Vee. xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Vee, sorry to learn what a horrendous time you had to endure - you are still a woman not a piece of meat and, although the health professionals are great, sometimes unfortunately, they forget they are dealing with a human being.  You had every right to ask for a woman in order to keep  your dignity and I really feel for the predicament you had to encounter.  Complain please as no individual should be made to feel less than important with their self respect intact no matter how ill they are!  I see  you have another appt. with a man again - if you feel you want a woman to do this ask again!  Vee, don't let this episode drag you down - hopefully once you complain you will be able to leave this behind.  Keep well, am thinking of you and ranting inside on your behalf and for all us women who still want feel womanly no matter how ill we are!!!! Ann xx