An upsetting experience

3 minute read time.

Hello to all my friends, I don't really know how to begin and if I make no sense then I'm sorry.Amongst the problem of my secondary breast cancer on my spine, it seems that I have an overly thick lining to my womb. anyway a biopsy of said lining came back clear but because it's not normal to have such a thickness it was suggested that they the oncology gynaecolgists would like me to have a camera inserted into the womb to have a look see.(those ladies that have had problems like this will know what this means). Now I am 53yrs old and I've had 5 children so internals and smears have never been a problem for me, but I did request that a female doctor perform said procedure. No problem I thought until last week when I arrived to have this done, on arriving at the clinic I was told it was a male doctor who would be doing it. Now I'm not stupid I know that if there is a chance there is a cancer in the uterus then obviously the sooner it's found and treated then all the better for me. So I was prepared to have the procedure done there and then until I walked into the room to see the dr who was going to be in close proximity to my very private place.

First they had not got my case notes so no history of the fact that I have severe metatises on my sacrum(base of spine) and have dificulty lifting my legs to walk never mind point them towards the ceiling.

Then the whole persona of this man made me feel very uneasy and the nurse left the room so I was alone with him, please don't get me wrong he did nothing to me other than start to tell me what was about to happen, but when I asked a few questions like how many local anasthetics was he going to be using and where exactly, what would be the after effects etc. His tone of voice was quite stern and he sounded angry at me for asking. Still on my own no nurse. I was getting a bit tearful as I was feeling very anxious and this man actually sat there and told me I should be grateful for every day and smile.

I was getting very upset when the nurse returned and I told the dr I didn't like the way he was talking to me and then I said I didn't want him to do the procedure. He became all apologetic then, but I asked the nurse to please bring my husband down to me and the dr asked me if I wanted him to leave the room which I did.

Hubby very cross when he saw how upset I was and wanted to make complaint there and then, I wanted to just come home and try to work out why I had been so effected by this man.

We came home and I have spent the last week sorting out in my head what it was that upset me so much and having lost what little sleep I do get I have come to the conclusion that yes I am more emotional than I have ever been but that wasn't it , I've had some tough times in my life and got through them just like lots of other people especially here. The fact is that that doctor frightened me and I don't know why, but I trust myself and if someone is giving bad vibes I don't want them near me never mind doing such an intimate procedure you need to trust the person and I didn't.

So sorry it's been such a long winded post and I'm sure some of you will probably think for goodness sake woman get on with it. Idid request again a female doctor and the appt came this morning with a male. So letter of complaint is now on it's way.

Oh forgot to say went to see GP about it and she was appalled at my treatment and advised us to complain.

Love to all.

Vee. xx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Veejay,

    As you know Iam a man which im glad to say. But this episode of your treatment, must have been very

    unprofesional on that so called Drs part.As for you I wouldnt even try to think what you where going through. The Next time make sure, if its a female Dr you want, its a female Dr you get its your right.

    Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    aw vee .......... sending you a great big (((((HUG))))))xXx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Veekay,

                         You were absolutely right to speak out if this man was making you feel uneasy and I admire you for doing it. You have every right to ask for a female doctor and I hope this is arranged for you very soon. I am so sorry that you were so upset but take heart that we all support your decision and I hope you are treated with the respect and compassion you deserve.

                            Take care,

                                   Love lizzie xx.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Vee you have every right to have a female doctor. Dont the people who send out the appointments listen, and yes you should complain and let them know how upset you are.

    Hugs Lucylee. xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Vee, what an awful experience for you. I also think you were right to trust your instincts about this man and good for you for refusing to let him do this procedure.

    Bad Fairy xx