Well chemo starts tomorrow for Paul - he went to the hospital today to get the "thingy" inserted near his neck - another stage we have passed. He I think is nervous but is not really letting on - he just wants to get on with things and stop feeling sick but is prepared for the worst - and then it can only get better. Just packed our bag with DVD's, mags, books and snacks -
I did start a Blog earlier today when I was on a real downer - I was at work and just felt exhausted and tired and fed up - generally I spose feeling sorry for myself which now thinking was very selfish as it is not me who has the mental pain but Paul - feel a bit better now - a friend came over this evening equipped with Gloria Jeans coffees and a lending ear - so feel better now - Paul is actually at this moment lying on the lounge we have undercover outside listening to the rain as he loves doing - the two boys are playing with a football in the house and I am just about to retire to bed as tomorrow will be a long day - I am trying to insist to Paul for him to let me drive the half hour home as I am so nervous with him driving at the moment as I feel his mind is not properly focussed on the road - so will try and bit more persuasion tomorrow again - I know I have asked this before but is it "safe" to drive with all the chemo in your body? I think I am more nervous about the whole thing than he is - but as I said he doesn't let on - we both just want to get stuck into this chemo and hope and pray it does its job - the kids have been fabulous in their understanding that daddy isnt well at the moment - I havent told them all just that their daddy is not well - just so hard with school hols - one day at a time - and we have the best of friends as our "family" here in Oz - thank goodness for each and every one of them - in particular Caroline - thank you so much if you ever read this - we love you! Ok - off to bed now - keep smiling everyone and stay positive positive positive - xoxox
