hi everyone had a good birthday yesterday . in the morning my daughter sarah recieved her a level results & even though the poor thing had to sit thenm through a tough time she has passed with flying colours she sat one the day before my bilateral mastectomy & one the day after plus she had been reviseing all the way through my diagnoisis , she knew that i so wanted her to do well & get her place at scarbough uni which has also been comfirmed . i am SO PROUD OF HER as any parent would be & most of all she is proud of herself which has given my children a massive boost.havnt selpt well last night as you can see from the time of my blog i was asked by a woman i know at our local shop late last evening if i knew if i was going to die or not this was in front of my daughter anne-marie who was just dumbstruck that someone could say such a thing . i have struggled hard to bring my children up as loving caring adults to have thoughts for others feelings & empathy for others & i have succeced . they also do have strong feelings and thoughts of there own as well. infact this really rocked anna as normally she would have would have had a few strong words to say. we talked about it our selfs tough & realised some people should just keep their thoughts to themselfs . don't get me wrong contructive questions are welcome but not those in front of my children if the two youngest sarah & siouxsie had been there it would have had a different outcome as anna is more like me in that she is old enough to know people should put their brain in gear before they speak the two youngest at 15& 19 would have probabley reacted very differently . anyway its happy thoughts now i have uni things to get sorted she is off on the 27th september so we have lots of books to shop for plus the usual tuck shop she will need to take to keep her going ha ha . well i will get myself a nice hot cuppa now dust off the cobwebs & start a new day i am having a joint birthday party today for my niece rhia-mai who is 8 & my granddaughter kiera who is seven so wish me luck me thinks i may need it with love to all keep strong love n hugs treeze xxxx
FormerMember
Do you mine if I add my good news here too? My baby girl also got her A level results yesterday, she blew us all away with how well she had done and she'll be off to Nottingham in September, with her boyfriend. She took her exams just after my last op too, it's good to know our kids don't crumble under pressure!
Hi Treeze - I am so pleased that your daughter has shone through all the devastation of your diagnosis and treatment - well done her! I hope she excells at Uni too and enjoys the experience.
As for the unbelieveble questions that we have to deal with from people I think it just highlights 1. How people do not know what to say or do when they know we have cancer 2. How vulnerable we become as cancer patients - we have little control over our treatments, emotions, and especially what others say to us. If you are able to I think you should perhaps speak to this person again and calmly tell her that her questions were unhelpful and undesirable - in front of your daughter especially. It is no consolation but I have also had upsetting questions asked to me too. In fact my own daughter told her friends about me and then regretted it after unnecessary comments in the playground (poor thing) but school sorted that out immediately - hence the value of letting school know my situation.
It is all unhelpful though when we are dealing with our rollercoaster of treatments and emotional uproar. I hope that you continue to rise above and beyond the chaos and have fun preparing for your daughter to go to uni - something nice to concentrate on!! Best wishes and love Jools x
I well remember my daughter's A level day. She and her friends took up station in our dining room ringing their friends. It is always tricky asking the ones you haven't heard from and they dealt with it with style and compassion. I found it quite moving. This was 1980something, I forget which.
Having to field a question like that in front of your daughter must have been extremely taxing for your powers of diplomacy. My answer would have been "No I don't know yet. Do you?" but tact was never my strong point.
Your birthday sounds great, and I'm glad you had a good day.
Congratulations on your daughter getting in to Scarborough - she did terrifically well to succeed with all the worry about what was happening to you.
What the woman said is a classic example of the sort of thing I was discussing on "Life of Riley" - people with no tact, no imagination - and in this case downright cruel. I presume that you won't be shopping there again...
hi every one thankyou all so much for your kind replys . i had a great day except for the comment but as you all say some people need to engage their brains before they open their mouths .i think the reactions are now comming because of the loss of hair not blaming this but it is the first real stupid thing that has been said to my face anyway .none of us know what lays around the corner including others who don't have to go through with the trauma we have to deal with on a day to day basis ,so i think you are all right i will have to have a quite word with the lady in question & try to make her see her comment was if not anything else tactless.well the kids party went well with lots of help from my daughters well it would'nt have with out them i was so tired this afternoon but in the end the kids who came all stopped an extra hour couldn't get them to go ha ha so we must have been doing something right ,far to many prizes for party games i think but hey when your 7& 8yrs old what more do you want. well love n hugs to everyone & thanks again for your sound advice with love n hugs treeze xxxx
