hi everyone , been having the blues lately crying a lot . i try to keep how i realy feel under wraps & even in my blogs hold back. fed up of feeling sorry for myself but just feel like screaming why is this happening .everyone keeps saying im brave but what is brave all we are all trying to do is cope with it the best we can . plus i don't feel brave not if they realy knew what i felt inside i am so scared it hurts . im scared of leving my kids & what would happen if i was no longer around . how would it affect everyone in my family. i know i shouldn't think like this & i have every in tentions of beating this cancer to a plup but it is messing with my head at the moment i think its because of not having the chemo last week.. i try to keep thinking 11 weeks then radio after the recon next year i will have me back but it feels so long away at the moment maybe its the dark nights that are making me feel down i just want to feel like me again i have always been like if you don't first succsed then try & try again but my resolve is way down will try to get back there i promise sorry for my doom & gloom but its been a horrible time latley so glad you are all here you have helped me so much . got to go for chemo on thursday let you all know if it goes a head this week speak to you all soon love n hugs theresa xxxx
FormerMember
thank you every one your comments keep me going ,you are all so kind i don't know what i would do without you . still down but i will get tnere . i know that you all know how this horrible illness affects us & that helps me to get back on track love n hugs to every one take cre love theresa xxx
Hi Theresa, You cry if you want to and if you feel afraid that is OK too. and if you do not feel brave when people tell you that you are brave tell them you are scared and you do not feel brave let them know. Cry buckets if you want it is your release valve. I only know as Peter (he has the cancer) and I had these BAD blues this week, even if you look at me I will cry and I did so did Pete, broke down at work, cried to the Macmillan nurse on the phone cried when my Manager asked how Pete was, cried all the way home on the phone to my sister. cried to my Son and Daughter got it all out of my system. I feel a little bit stronger now. AND I am sure it will happen again and again, DO let people know how you feel and slowly slowly day by day. I send you lots of hugs and good wishes and feel like a good hollar write another blog. Kind regards Daphnie
You poor thing, you really are in need of a big ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
You are totally allowed to feel like screaming. I get fed up also when people keep telling me how brave i am. Bravery does'nt come into it. We have not been given a chance to choose, or we would definately not have chosen this road. But what we you are, is a lovely woman trying to cope. that does'nt come easy day in and day out. When you think of what gets some people down (dont know what jumper to wear with this skirt) I think we are crazy for not ranting more often.
You will go up again and no doubt down again. But as you say, we are all here to support eachother and it dont get better than that.
Wishing you a better weekend.
lol and hugs
Debbie and Robbie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You poor thing, you really are in need of a big ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
You are totally allowed to feel like screaming. I get fed up also when people keep telling me how brave i am. Bravery does'nt come into it. We have not been given a chance to choose, or we would definately not have chosen this road. But what we you are, is a lovely woman trying to cope. that does'nt come easy day in and day out. When you think of what gets some people down (dont know what jumper to wear with this skirt) I think we are crazy for not ranting more often.
You will go up again and no doubt down again. But as you say, we are all here to support eachother and it dont get better than that.
Wishing you a better weekend.
lol and hugs
Debbie and Robbie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sorry to hear how bad you are feeling Theresa. I just wanted to thank you for honestly posting your feelings on here. My mum has cancer and she always tries to be upbeat, and I often wonder how she must really feel sometimes. I know how bad I feel about the whole thing and can't even imagine what it must feel like to fight this cruel disease day after day. How are your children coping with it all?
