hi every one feeling blue today, just not shaking off this woe is me feeling at all. not sure what it is but very stressed. there has been no major issue except i want to feel normal. feel scared & lonley though every one is around me & i have suport in the house now had a talk with the kids plus my niece came yesterday & blitzed my kitchen . she is a clean aholic so i let her go at it ha ha. i keep worring about the cancer even though there is nothing i can do except hope the chemo is working. every ache & pain is now nagging away in my head. my mouth is still abit sore done every thing with it but think i may need some antibiotics my back tooth seems to be the cause of it so will sort that out tomorrow.worry what will happen if my next scans are not clear even though the last ones were i think i am depressed its probaly a come down from all the treatment & life in genarel. when i try to talk to any one they change the subject on to something else i think they can't deal with me feeling sorry for my self its a case of i need to at the moment just sort out how i feel about it all havn't had chance to take it all in yet when i was told i had cancer i felt like oh ok thats something else to deal with i can do its ok but its not ok there are to many what ifs and to many if onlys going on in my head at the moment . if i didn't write down my feelings i think i would go mad. will have to go now my friend has just come will write more later love n hugs treeze xxx
FormerMember
This is what happens when you stop looking at the next objective. You are thrashing around in the dark not knowing what to worry about.
You will have a scan sometime. Have you a date for it yet? What is your next thing? More chemo? Try and get to the dentist first though. Some NHS dentists don't want to give treatment if you are on chemo, so don't say anything unless he asks. They are supposed to take infection control measures, and you should be safe enough anyway.
If you worry about the long term with cancer, you can easily lose your way. Just take it in short stages. A scan is only like getting on the scales. You get a result and your oncologist decides where to go with it. So it's someone else's problem.
You have had a very rough time with your chemo. As you said, the injections are working. Are you having enough rest? Are you drinking lots of water? Perhaps you should decide on a time to have your daily sleep, and go to bed for a couple of hours.
Maybe you need to get out more. I wish I had a cleanaholic in my house. When she's finished, point her in my direction.
Dearest Treeze it is a very hard time for you just now, but hang on in there you will get through it. I too put every ache and pain down to the cancer and the chemo. That is a very normal feeling. You have so much else to deal with and you are trying to be in zillions of places at once.
You need a bit of pampering.
Is it mouth thrush you have? which is very common when you are going through all this. You can get some really good medication especially for it, from your doctor. Dont put up with anymore discomfort than you have too.
Easy to say, but try not to let negative thoughts plague you. hang onto the good news that your last scans were ok. I know how you are feeling, i have my yearly mamogramme coming up this month and I worry my self silly as it gets near, but that is only normal.
keep posting and getting the rants and raves out. If you want to talk i will happily send you my phone number. Just pm me.
