A New Day!

Hi I am new to all this so please forgive me if I waffle on! A very close friend of mine who is also my neighbour has been diagnosed with Cancer of the Epiglottis (just above the voicebox). She has family but over the years she fallen out with them (her Dad, her brother and her daughter). When she received her diagnosis she was given a year to live but unfortunately she has been unable to have any treatment as she isn't in the greatest of health, hence a year went to 8-12 weeks. I can't get my head around how she has such a short time, I'm finding it really hard to accept, so god only knows how my Little Miss Pepperpot (as I kindly refer to her - as she is so little and petite!) is feeling. Well, I know how she is feeling.... About 4 weeks ago at Miss Pepperpot's request I went up to her flat to attend a meeting with herself, a Doctor from the local Hospice and a Macmillan Nurse. It was there we received the devastating news of 8-12 weeks. Neither of us have bothered counting as to when the eight weeks would be up. I speak for myself here but I am too much of a coward. I can't imagine my life without Miss Pepperpot (she is like my surrogate mother as I don't have anything to do with my real mum). I am doing as much as possible for my friend - be it the most minorest of things! I am also there of course when reality hits her and she realises that her death is imminent - like last night. I had spent some time with her during the course of the day and then again in the evening. Having said goodnight to her, I came back down to my flat, ready to have my moment of crying and screaming "why Miss Pepperpot" when my phone rang. I answered it and it was Miss Pepperpot telling me that she was going to turn her music on full blast (Chas & Dave!). That put the hugest of smiles on my face once I heard her crank the volume up and all I could here was "You got more rabbit than Sainsburys, why don't you give it a rest". However my smile was not to last long as within half hour Miss Pepperpot was back on the phone, crying, telling me that she isn't ready to die. What could I say? I wish I had a magic wand that could just get rid of this huge cancer that is bulging out of her neck. In fact I wish I could do that for all of you who are also suffering... So I have decided that I am going to keep a blog on here, as I feel that I am getting it off my chest by telling anyone who reads this. I am sat here crying my heart out, wondering what today will bring...