Hi I am new to all this so please forgive me if I waffle on! A very close friend of mine who is also my neighbour has been diagnosed with Cancer of the Epiglottis (just above the voicebox). She has family but over the years she fallen out with them (her Dad, her brother and her daughter). When she received her diagnosis she was given a year to live but unfortunately she has been unable to have any treatment as she isn't in the greatest of health, hence a year went to 8-12 weeks.
I can't get my head around how she has such a short time, I'm finding it really hard to accept, so god only knows how my Little Miss Pepperpot (as I kindly refer to her - as she is so little and petite!) is feeling. Well, I know how she is feeling....
About 4 weeks ago at Miss Pepperpot's request I went up to her flat to attend a meeting with herself, a Doctor from the local Hospice and a Macmillan Nurse. It was there we received the devastating news of 8-12 weeks. Neither of us have bothered counting as to when the eight weeks would be up. I speak for myself here but I am too much of a coward. I can't imagine my life without Miss Pepperpot (she is like my surrogate mother as I don't have anything to do with my real mum).
I am doing as much as possible for my friend - be it the most minorest of things! I am also there of course when reality hits her and she realises that her death is imminent - like last night. I had spent some time with her during the course of the day and then again in the evening. Having said goodnight to her, I came back down to my flat, ready to have my moment of crying and screaming "why Miss Pepperpot" when my phone rang. I answered it and it was Miss Pepperpot telling me that she was going to turn her music on full blast (Chas & Dave!). That put the hugest of smiles on my face once I heard her crank the volume up and all I could here was "You got more rabbit than Sainsburys, why don't you give it a rest". However my smile was not to last long as within half hour Miss Pepperpot was back on the phone, crying, telling me that she isn't ready to die. What could I say?
I wish I had a magic wand that could just get rid of this huge cancer that is bulging out of her neck. In fact I wish I could do that for all of you who are also suffering...
So I have decided that I am going to keep a blog on here, as I feel that I am getting it off my chest by telling anyone who reads this. I am sat here crying my heart out, wondering what today will bring...
FormerMember
hi tracey , & wellcome to what now you sound as though you are doing your best for miss pepperpot [love your name for her ]sometimes i don't know whats worst being the carer or being the person who has this awfull disease.i have been both. the only thing that you can do is what you are doing now be there for her .but you also need someone to be there for you .is the hospice local to you could you go & sound out the clubs that most hospices have together & make friends with people that understand what you are both going through. also the estimates on life expectancy are just that estimates .keep bloging though i found it to be the best way for me to get out what i was feeling without upsetting the people closest to me . let us know how you are both doing . big hugs to you both love theresa xxx
Just wanted to say a big thank you for your message. We do have a hospice which is very local but I was totally unaware that carers could go there. Miss Pepperpot has just been on the phone to me as she is feeling very down again. Up until now she had expressed her wishes to die at home as the thought of a hospice frightened her, however today she is now thinking of just going to the hospice to have a look round. I am guessing from your plight that you know quite alot about hospices and I hope I am right in guessing that you would think it is a good idea for us both to go and take a look round. In the meanwhile I shall keep blogging. Again thanks for your message, especially about the life expectancy bit. I hope you are well. Take care. Love Tracey. xxx
hospices help the carers as well as the patent. as theresa said they have day clubs with experanced helpers and nurses. when my wife was in there for a week for assesment she said it was not like a hospital totally differant and when she needed the nurses she said that it was like they wanted to help you not like in a hospital where you a just another patent. ring them up and ask to go down there to check it out. somtimes the estimates can be way out just check out some of the people on his site. your doing a grand job for your friend but carers need help somtimes to so don't be scared to ask for it.
Just wanted to say thanks for your message. Your information maybe just what my little Miss Pepperpot needs to hear (and me for that matter). I hope they have got the estimate wrong. I shall call our local hospice on Monday to arrange a visit for both of us. Thanks again for your support.
I am currently being treated for large B cell defuse lymphoma with rituxin, R Chop, Prednisone and some other chemicals and wondered if anybody else is or has gone through these treatments?
Would love to discuss the effects of chemo while going through treatments.
