Rebel with a cause & the non conformist in me will never back down

2 minute read time.

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time , I'm having a balllllllllllllllll

Just how good were the Olympics - I'm still in Olympic la la land and feeling so inspired. It's got me thinking, after Eric Idle's wise words ...Always Look On The Bright Side of LIfe !!  Am I wrong to be my bubbly positive self ? It seems to stick in many people's throats, but hey it always did, so it proves I don't change.

I was brought up to be strong & independent & I'm proud of what my parents have helped me to become, I'm proud too of overcoming the adverse things that have happened in my life to help me become stronger and cope with situations, for my chosen career that has helped me again to see people in far worse situations than possibly others can imagine. I have learnt by painful mistakes, heart breaks, illness and deaths. Throughout every situation I have remained me - programmed with humour as a deflection and barrier to other people's insensitivities. Of course I have fears, doubts, worries, over thinking why wouldn't I ? 

With a rebel yell - she cried More, more , more ...Why do I have to conform to the label of Cancer ? F*** that, it's a mindset, everything is ...how else do people suffering war atrocities, or imprisonment survive and inspire others. They used the power of their mind and  acceptance to see them through the extremely bad times. My dad used to say it's all in your mind, I used to hate that, thinking it was dismissive - OMG how much do I thank him now ? Thank you Dad for giving me that tool. I thank my mum too, so seeing her stay so strong & focused thru chemo I have a president that has been set for me, if she could graciously and valiantly endure the aggressive interventions, than so can I. 

Acceptance is key - accept that the past has gone, the future uncertain and be in the now. Living in the now has it's downfalls I agree as human beings we always want to surge ahead with future plans and aims, I'm very driven & outcome focused but this journey so far has reduced my urges to surge ahead too far. Maybe I'm a dog on an extending lead. But without future aims we become stagnant ..we have to have things to look forward to..being in full health, getting into remission and staying there as long as possible seem the most obvious. Sticking with the lessons that having this diagnosis has brought me so far about priorities, slowing my pace and acceptance ...Then the career aims sneak back up, returning as a therapist, returning to my leadership role ...decisions, will need to be made once I get to the end of the upcoming treatment.

So, I think, Cancer is a label, a badge worn with all the other badges that identify other parts of us , they don't define or restrict us unless we let them. Who wants to be a stereo type not me - never !!

 

 

Anonymous