Eat, Pray, Love without the expensive flights and malaria jabs Vs Yoda Guru

2 minute read time.

FormerMember

3 Aug 2012

Mannnnnn I really like that film. All her adventures discovering herself in beautiful places, finding acceptance, peace, stillness and love ..for herself as well as the happily ever after ending. At the beginning of the year I was happily throwing that wish out there , I loved the idea of my own spiritual development in Thailand with beautiful beaches hmmmmm . So there I was wishing away and clearly the law of attraction could hear me and clearly responded - your wish is my command

What was I wishing for , 'I wish I could have a year's paid leave from work ....under positive circumstances' ...is what I asked.for,maybe I wasn't specific enough and didn't stick in a disclaimer saying for no ill health reasons

BUT hold on ! Isn't this positive ?? I can provide a pretty comprehensive list of the positives being diagnosed with BC has given me That may sound a little disconcerning to some, but this is my blog, mine !! So i shall write as I feel oh and you don't have to comment - honest this is just an outlet :)

Everyday I am grateful for the opportunities that present themselves, for the love & support I have from friends, loved ones , for the lessons I learn from others on my journey and pass on in return to other people I meet. I have a new appreciation of people around me, and even a deeper sense of respect for myself, I feel valued, appreciated and loved - but more importantly I FEEL this about myself. I'm chilled and relaxed, my pace slower, not having the weight of the world of work on my shoulders, no Monday blues - no idea what day it is unless have an appointment, no rushing across the capital, ironically my stress levels have dropped. I've stopped stressing the minors, stopped talking to the people that mentally drained me, stopped shouldering everyone else's problems and trying to solve them. Damn it this Cancer Career Break is pretty good.

Every now and then I have to get myself in check and I have a little reminder from friends along the way, when my impatience or anxiety appears. This week my guru like Yoda friend reminded me ...

'' Have not started you have, treating yourself like a patient already you are. Live now and prepare for the bad days and make positive habits now instead saying - when I'm tired I'll do blah blah' He sounds so good like Yoda, it's the Yoda remix lol...but he was right, I was saying to myself when I'm on chemo I'll still exercise or meditate...are you doing this now ?? Oh yeah !! Ummm... ok well the exercise I am, but my weapons of spiritual distraction I had neglected. I had to pay him 50p for this life coaching expression - joke !!

So, my backdrop for my spiritual development and learning curve isn't Thailand like I imagined, but here in sunny (??) UK I am sure I have a lot of learning ahead of me. This week has been filled with reading, reflexology, EFT - ooh I like, Alexander Technique and sitting peacefully beside water - not the sink or toilet I swear and under trees. Ommmmmmmmm

I <3 the stillness and peace I'm finding in my usual manic existence. There are always an oasis even in a concrete jungle. No I haven't been dropped in my head, I'm just embracing my introverted side for a bit ... Class clown Sassy is still in effect and available for bookings :)

Nikkimamof3 over 12 years ago

I have squamous cell internal lymph cancer.. Rare.. Can I still comment.?? I love that movie.. Seen it several times..it's all that eating and drinking!! Lovely jubbly(although would be a struggle at the minute with constant run's and nausea)?i love the yodaness.. I am on maternity leave which is sort of replacing my sick leave.. So a new baby and the big c.. I watch movies to make me weap on purpose so I don't weap to my family..I feel so loved too, but so alone! Figure that one out.. I care so much for my loved one's more than ever., but feel bad for waisting my time on people who have made me be someone I didn't like in the past.. And waisting time I could of spent with my loved ones instead,, it has taken this to make me realise.. I feel anxious yet peaceful all at once.. I know everything you are saying and it make's sense. work is just a living and living has become so much more than anything.. We need time to breath again and feel well if we can remember that feeling.. I won't ever get stressed if my train is late or I get stuck in traffic.. They can wait.. Because I have waited to be well and waiting now to look after my children again and hold my baby without feeling so weak it hurt's.. Anyway sorry for the randomness.. Nikki xx
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hey Nikki,

Random late night responses to random blogs are fine :) Oooh Maternity leave I remember that and the raging hormones - crying at Titantic, shows you how long ago that was !! How are you & your little one ?

I can relate to your feelings and everything you've said too, the loved and alone...the time wasted, the past is gone though, so let's leave that there and be grateful that we will never waste any time again - so I hope !! The changed priorities, the reset button has been hit and whilst there is never a guarantee except on dodgy products - we have to live life to the fullest and appreciate all that we have.

Pop by anytime for randomness lol xoxo
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hi there,

Once again you are scarily my twin.... I told someone recently that having cancer was a really positive experience. They looked at me as if I was mad. I told the kids at school it was too in an assembly. I did a blog of what I said to them called Bumpy roads.. look it up sometime if you ever want.

We get to see what most people miss that life is here and now and this is it and not something to be rushing towards in the future or swimming with dolphins or whatever but feeling the grass between your toes, giggling in the rain.... etc

I have learned work isn't the be all and end all and to slow down!! (recognise that one? ;) and what is important in life. I am sometimes starting to forget again on odd days so thanks for the nudge.

Big hugs

Little My xxx
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FormerMember over 12 years ago

Hey Scary Twin,

I will have a look for that blog : )

Slowing down wasn't in my vocabulary a few months ago but I have - a wee bit ...internally I feel I am slower though, even if I still fidget about. Adjusting to living in the now at times I struggle with as that plan, plan and plan mentality is firmly fixed, but I'm getting there.

I do wonder if this is a breather from life and a way to re think things but the temptation and just the pull of life drags you back up to pre diagnosis speed after you return to the real world and walk away from your Macland account. That is such a long way off at the moment I'm not even going to think of it

I'm really trying to not overthink things, that's a nasty habit that no one wants - especially me. So whenever I feel that coming on I switch my attention to something else. I've got lots to learn in this journey and time to do so : )

Huge Hugs to you Little My xxx
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