Post 89: Dreams, Nightmares, and a Room in the Roof
Some nights it’s just sleep I crave. Other nights, like this one, my head gets tangled in dreams and memories that feel way too big for the dark.
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After a big roast dinner I felt sleepy and went up to bed early but I struggled to sleep comfortably.
It could have been the 2.3 mile walk My Darling and I happily walked up to the pond and back. The wildlife was worth the bother with young kids fishing and the Canada geese and mallards sweeping the banks of the water for scraps.
We timed the walk perfectly in the dry overcast afternoon because after we got home the thunderstorms that followed were full of storm rain. That was lucky.
So I trudged off upstairs while My Darling watched the tennis on that big TV.
I wasn’t in pain but ached all over my back as if I had been busy all day doing strenuous things, which I hadn’t obviously, so I didn’t pop any pills (all day or then) and rested on the bed trying to snooze. I could hear the crowd cheers from the game downstairs so it didn’t feel too lonely.
When, later, My Darling came to bed I was pleased that her warm body and quiet voice would usher me to sleep again. It seems that I did nod off but waking with a nightmare was off-putting. Apparently I’d been searching diligently for a lost double buggy up and down streets with a notepad in my hand on which a blinking red spot showed me the location of the stolen pram on a map. The problem was firstly the signal made it hard to keep tabs on it and the other thing was I couldn’t run fast — I was stuck in slow motion.
Then as I woke, the collapsed double buggy was safe and sound in a butcher’s shop (of all places) and the owner of the pram was Katy Price (Jordan) — who my wife likes but I sadly don’t.
My Darling laughed about my dream when I caught my breath and recalled the story and I reached over for the pills and had a dose to set me back to sleep — but hopefully not the nightmare-world I woke from, which gave me the shivers.
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As I said, I didn’t sleep well, and whilst I twisted left and right in an uncomfortable way I started to remember the first time I ever stayed overnight with My Darling. It’s not lost on me how different life was back then, how simple and uncomplicated it was…
I’ve mentioned before in this blog how My Darling and I met: a blind date Xmas works dinner. What I didn’t say was that as time went on, that fateful night turned into another meeting the very next day for a “driving lesson” — which (the lesson) took a few years to achieve for real, but as it was just an excuse to meet up, it was never more than a date. Hopefully.
She worked and lived in the Grand Hotel as a chambermaid and there were strict rules about visitors to the “tradesmen’s entrance.” In due course I found out that although I was allowed up to visit said worker (chambermaid), there was a limit to how long you could stay. So 6am to 10pm was the set times and the Doormen at the entrance kept a vigilant eye on comings and goings — especially the boys visiting chambermaids — writing down names and times in a diary record book.
We had only been seeing each other a few days, during which time we had poured our souls into this new relationship and could barely bear to be apart.
So one night just before 10pm the thought of me retiring back home because of the curfew was deemed to be wholly unnecessary, and I was hidden under the bed during the Doorman’s room checks. Yes — they physically checked all workers’ rooms on their checks, ensuring there were no unofficial guests and stowaways.
I don’t know if it was the Christmas spirit or what, but I stayed quiet and My Darling explained that I had already left through the front doors (which you weren’t meant to do obviously — back door only for non-guests). Luckily, the guy swallowed the story and I was now locked in.
What happened next is not what you’d expect but does shine light on how we were as a couple in those first few days of the rest of our lives.
As I said, we had been together as much as we could every day since meeting, and we talked about everything like we were soulmates from the get-go. It’s extraordinary how we gelled and formed such a bond immediately we met.
In fact, her stories of why she was brought over to her aunties in England by her Mum and sisters straight after her 21st birthday were to set in place unbreakable connections for our future together. The honesty and innocence we both shared was our greatest strength. From the start we were a forever pair.
So back in that little room with its 4-foot Christmas tree dominating the space — there was a sink one side and a little table and chair the other with just enough room for a wardrobe and the single bed. A little portable black and white TV sat on a bedside table and the wandering aerial hung out the window. The bathroom and toilet were down the corridor a few doors, so it was rudimentary but clean and tidy.
I remember the bed covers looking so perfect — as they should be with an expert chambermaid — but I never managed to learn all the tricks to create such perfection. (There’s still time.)
This small room was to become our hideaway and didn’t ever feel too small. We were in it, and no one could hurt us. We were safe, warm, and dry.
In fact, the oversized heater did cause the sash window to be ajar a lot of the time even on the coldest of days, such was the heat — but being four floors up in the roof, only Spider-Man could get to us. (That reminds me of another story about another lock-in involving the window ledge in the dark, but I digress).
Elated and scared after the Doorman left, we could only whisper quietly and conspiratorially — this had been a spontaneous decision, not a well thought-out plan.
The first thing on my mind was not what you’d imagine. I was thinking about setting an alarm so I could get out at 6am through the front doors. Really.
I had nothing devious or nefarious in my head at all.
In fact, the chambermaids’ work starts at 6am anyway so I had no reason to worry — except for braving the walk of shame out of the hotel and hoping when I got to work, nobody saw my good clothes and revealed me as a dirty stop-out. Which I was so not.
My Darling was tired and ready for bed and I was in a new world of love for this girl I’d just met days ago.
I was a 6 foot eleven-stone tall guy; she was a 5 foot 1¾” seven-stone waif. We had neither been in situations like this before and both felt unsure.
I was also breaking the rules being in this room — a room I’d romantically dreamt about being in forever. A room with my girlfriend away from everyone. Just me and her.
But after she changed for bed in the bathroom down the hall, and with the lights off when she came back, she got into bed and invited me to lie on the covers beside her.
This might seem unlikely but it’s the truth. For many weeks we were happy to be in each other’s arms with bedsheets between us in the most comfortable feeling of trust and love.
There was no rush.
We gained confidence each day.
The relationship was always best friends first.
We were in it together from the first words and the first kisses.
Yes, we had both grown up innocently and were late developers — but we had found each other.
———
I snuck out in the morning with a yearning to stay with her.
Work was tiresome but I was back in her arms as quickly as I could. We were less than a week together but it felt like years.
I wouldn’t change a thing that happened.
We are the lucky ones.
I’ve always tried to protect her, but it’s her that invariably protects me.
We were slow starters — as innocent as the day is long — and terribly old-fashioned, but that laid the foundation to a lifelong partnership.
My Darling is my everything and gives my world colour.
I’m still on the bus.
Aches I have — but not pains.
I’m a lucky man.
