Post 59: Stressed and Confused
I’ll start by saying that I’m home.
Great!
But the meeting I’d hoped for between cardiology, oncology, and me didn’t happen.
Yet.
I left CCU late yesterday afternoon with new meds and a plan to help reduce the AFib events. It might take some time to settle, but it finally feels like the long-missing link in the “back-to-chemo” chain.
I’ve been a HealthUnlocked (HU) forum member ever since AFib became part of my life five years ago. Like this forum, I’ve found great advice there.
I rarely post these days, but this morning I asked something that captures my current worry—which isn’t prostate cancer exactly, but it’s tightly connected to everything else that’s going on.
Here’s what I wrote:
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“Atorvastatin for AFib?
Just come home from a two day stay at CCU (from an A&E admission) for a seventeen hour AFib event but on disharge was surprised to find Atorvastatin 20 mgs in the prescribed drugs.
I will arrange to see my GP about this but is this just a cholesterol drug or can it be that it is to help my AFib?
Recent history:
8 weeks ago had a massive bilateral PE after 8 days of Carboplatin chemo (my first ever cycle). Since then my AFib events have gone from non existent before the PE (for the last 3 years; on 1.25 mgs Bisoprolol a day) to 8 and 10 hour events on 5 mgs of Bisoprolol a day after the PE.
The second and third chemo infusions have been cancelled due to the AFib and my PSA has quadrupled to 505 (a week ago).
The CCU discharged me with replacement beta blocker Sotolol and a plan for regular checks with ECG’s to uplift from the 40 mgs I’m starting on.
PS.
I’m having the worst time trying to get both teams together to sort me out. The heart team are invisible and will not do anything about my leaky mitral valve (post PE) before chemo is over; my cancer team won’t give me chemo until I have a week free from AFib.
Catch 22.
The question I’m faced with this Saturday morning is; in the absence of expert advice I’m (over)thinking that the new drugs are a real worry in getting back to chemo.
The new sotalol is a sleeping pill to me. Slightly dizzy and very tired side effects, that’s not so bad after the last two weeks and five A&E over-nighters.
So,
Has anyone been prescribed the Atorvastatin for atrial fibrillation?
Cholesterol:
5.5 on 29/05/25
6.1 on 05/06/25
(Previously 4.1 on 11/05/23)”
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My Darling and I finally had a great night’s sleep.
At last.
We’ve been through such a trauma these past two months, it’s no wonder I’m an emotional mess and she’s off work with stress. She’s always on edge.
This blog has helped me digest it all and keep my head above water, but right now, it feels like I’m not bailing fast enough to keep the boat from sinking.
Still, I’m here.
Still positive.
Still trying to be kind to myself.
The goodie basket is still full, and I’m hoping those cholesterol figures are more about anxiety than diet. That’s my theory and I’m clinging to it.
The meeting with both teams might still happen soon.
And as much as I want and need it, there’s another part of me that just wants to be left in peace—with my treats, my sofa, and My Darling.
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I try my best and fail a lot;
That’s life.
I try to smile but cry a lot;
That’s cancer.
I try to blog but whine a lot;
I need counselling.
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Tomorrow will be better than today.
Monday I start counselling.
Friday I will (hopefully) have chemo.
Saturday I will rest, happily.
