Post 550: A day of tv and showers.
The was little to do on my Darlings birthday and with the choice of what to do in her hands it was a day of tv and snacks.
But first I had an early start at the Hospice for session four of counselling. These are going very well and are helpful in every aspect of my life.
Today however, I was teary eyed before I got to the supplied tissues.
My Darling was reading out a text proving that she had told our friends up north that we would not be able to get up to them. I had imagined that it was hinted in these texts but this one was in unequivocal.
There was no doubt.
We would not be going up north this year.
My lovely councillor was inquisitive when she scooped me up from our seats in the café lounge but after I tried to explain why I was looking a little like I’ve already cried, I was able to understand better, with associated tears and anguish, her understanding of the issue, the man, me, papa bear (as I’m named in sessions).
She noted that this was a decision taken out of my hands and that is a really good new action that my Darling is starting to take, allowing me to marvel in her wake.
It was then I realised that in our long time together we have always made decisions together and the fact has always been that she would depend on me most of the time. This is a deliberate first time a normally shared choice has been made by executive management (her) and that is a massive and wonderful change in her attitude.
The rest of the session was useful and the time went so fast I was back at the café lounge area where all the seats were now full right up with chattering people enjoying light bites and hot beverages. We said good bye to the Hospice and while I was getting comfy in the driving seat I tried my best to get a plan made for the rest of the day.
My Darling had already made up her mind; tv and snacks were the order of the day, and I followed her lead. What could be better on a blustery damp Monday but stay in the warm and capture back my energy levels and stay put and relieve the back from pain. It all worked well.
My Darling had already chosen the lady-psycho-killer series Furious to watch and with 8 hour long episodes our start time of 1 o’clock would mean the afternoon and evening were taken up in perpetual suspense of the next death till eventual cessation.
I loved it for the wrong reasons though, it was a handy time for me to nod off as and when I needed a nap, ha ha. Happy days, as Millibob says.
Talking of Millibob I have been going through what we discussed at the pub yesterday and come to the conclusion that there is a natural pattern to choosing the Radium 223. Yes it’s not a brash hit the cancer hard type of chemotherapy that is more sympathetic to the body (and cancer) but still has an effect of pain relief so is a welcome treatment overall.
Talking over things with a fellow survivor, and MacMillan Champion is a helpful resource I’m lucky to have beside me this week. He is of course always on call and helps everyone as the day unfolds with questions asked and worried Prostate People waiting for info or maybe a digital cuddle.
We have a visit from our youngest on Thursday as a belated birthday meal and will discuss the Radium and how they think about it in relation to having their first baby, our first grandbaby. I want to know where they see this treatment of Radium 223 fitting into family life.
It’s only six months. It’s not forever. If it means no nappy changes I’ll sign up now ha ha.
So take care and rest up while the storms blow across us.
See you soon.
