Post 460: Thank you for the love, kind words and advice.
On a bad day, the one thing that really helps is the kindness shown on this site by the people who understand what I’m going through.
Well…
…apart from My Darling and the hungry cat.
The cat and I have a little chat every morning about how I’m feeling.
I think he listens…
…in between crying incessantly for his breakfast.
I tell him the honest truth and make sure nobody else can hear.
Human sensitivities, you know.
The birds might hear too.
I want to say thank you for all the replies because it can become a very small world when you’re stuck at home in pain.
Getting used to being housebound is one thing.
Getting used to being housebound and in pain is another altogether.
That’s when frustration can start turning into feelings of hopelessness.
I was expecting a follow-up call from the hospice after finishing the last course of steroids, so I spent the morning hoping it would come sooner rather than later.
The phone rang at around nine o’clock.
Part of me wondered whether I’d been moved higher up the doctor’s call list.
That probably isn’t a good sign…
…although I might just be overthinking it.
Dr M knows me very well.
When he asked how I was, my answer came easily.
Pain.
Miserable pain.
For the last two days.
His response was immediate.
“How many steroids have you got left?”
I shouted upstairs to My Darling, who counted them, and we realised there were more than enough to get me through until Monday when he’s back after the weekend.
The dose is exactly the same as last time.
I was hugely relieved.
After saying our goodbyes, I grabbed the first three tablets and swallowed them as quickly as I could, hoping for their familiar magic.
Of course, I had nowhere to go today…
…as per bloody usual.
So, while I could hear My Darling limping around upstairs, I settled into the most comfortable chair in the house.
As each hour passed after taking the steroids, that chair somehow became even more comfortable.
The pain slowly eased and I happily worked my way through various Korean dramas for most of the day.
My Darling had wanted to cancel her trip into town with her best friend for a nail appointment after seeing how bad I’d been.
I insisted she should go.
I knew I’d probably respond quickly to the steroids.
Thankfully, I was right.
It turned out to be a good decision for another reason too.
She returned home with a few treats.
Some savoury snacks for the TV…
…and a huge slice of tiffin from an expensive bakery that we rarely visit.
By the time she got home I was already much more comfortable in my chair and was walking around the house again with far less pain.
She must have wondered what was wrong with me because I didn’t immediately attack the goodies.
Instead, I’d already raided the fridge for the last of the fresh pineapple and a large Pink Lady apple.
(Ooh err, missus!)
They’re my favourite apples.
Ha ha.
I spent virtually the whole day, right through until just after eleven o’clock, in my increasingly happy chair before heading upstairs knowing I was finally going to get a decent night’s sleep.
The best news of all?
I hadn’t taken a single drop of Oramorph since the mouthful before starting the steroids that morning.
That’s a real bonus because my hands don’t shake as much without the morphine, and that makes writing the blog much easier.
All in all…
…a satisfactory day.
Even my broken rib barely made itself known, apart from when I stood up or sat down in the happy chair.
Another day like this and I’ll probably become stir-crazy and start wanting to do something reckless…
…like going to a café.
Or perhaps sitting in a pub garden.
There is actually a sensible reason for mentioning beer gardens.
A very good friend from this site is visiting our area soon, and I’m hoping we can arrange an eyeball-to-eyeball meeting.
10-4, good buddy!
So I need to do a bit of reconnaissance and find a few dog-friendly pubs to make sure the visit is a cracker, as Millibob would say.
I could, of course, just look them up on the phone…
…but where’s the fun in that?
I should also mention, in passing, another prostate cancer symptom that I’ve only experienced once before but which has returned over the last few days.
That desperate feeling of needing to pass water…
…and simply not being able to.
Fortunately, I still had a dusty old box of Tamsulosin tucked away.
One capsule today made an enormous difference.
Within a few hours everything was flowing normally again instead of standing there for ten minutes waiting for something to happen.
The only frustration was that every time I stood up I immediately needed to go again.
What a cruel symptom this can be for anyone with prostate problems, whether caused by cancer or something else.
But there you go…
…or rather, there I go.
Ha ha.
Two lots of quick relief in one day.
Can’t be bad.
Have a comfortable day.
Goodnight.
