Post 388: Emergency Blood Test.
Sometimes I write without understanding what it is I’m trying to say, and other times someone reminds me what it is that I’ve been asking — clearing up my nonsense.
Thank you, everyone, for sticking with me.
I’m not held together very well but I do try.
Inside my body winter is the longest season, the hardest to get through, the loneliest time.
It’s a devil of a job to thaw out even with the heaters on full and the windows and doors closed firmly.
Letting anyone inside is a waste and a challenge even though they care.
With certainty only in the sadness that comes with the confusion and the pain.
But there will be sunshine and the clouds will lift and someone will pull you up out of bed and show you the buds bursting from all the branches on all the trees. The thaw will start and with that thaw are smiles and my heart will beat faster with all the beauty around me that has patiently waited for my smile.
Physically, apart from the frozen shoulder repair and the doziness, I’m in great shape, proven by this week’s walk around the block.
I shouldn’t grumble about the state I’m in because there are far worse off than me around. To add to that I’m longing to get back to work and the dust that’s on my work safety boots will be gone soon enough.
There are a few hurdles but they are there to be jumped over. The first is tomorrow’s meeting where a couple of managers I know well and the lady from HR, all of whom are supporting my want and need for work.
I’m very lucky to have that help which will hopefully add confidence to my application to my GP for the medical side of things to be adequate enough for me to get a start date on a fit note.
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Today, after emailing my specialist cancer nurse about my doziness lately — even though I’ve not taken any extra oral morphine for weeks — the suggestion in her reply was to get a blood test to check my iron levels (and everything else) so I can be checked for general health and, if that’s OK, cleared for work.
In fact a blood test is what was needed by the GP practice for my atrial fibrillation annual review coming up, so now they both happen in two days’ time. That’s an efficiency that’s accidentally happened organically.
So to sum up I’ll know this week whether I’m physically ready to get back to work.
Hip, hip, hurrah.
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I received an email from the Friar that I’ve previously contacted about having my dear Mum’s remains interred in her Mum’s grave — that’s my Granny’s grave. This is something that I’m happily pushing through firstly because Mum’s ashes are in our home and secondly because for so long our family has tried to figure out a suitable place for her eternal rest.
It was absolutely brilliant that I had this email correspondence and quickly replied to the Friar that the earliest opportunity that suited his staff would be best for us too.
There is a good reason for hurrying along this burial and it’s all about me.
I want to be there at the burial and say a final farewell to a Mum that tried her best.
That’s all we can ever do, isn’t it?
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My Darling has not flown the coup or come to a sticky end, for those wondering about the lovely lady.
She continues to be my backbone, bless her. But at work there has been rumours that her hours at work may change, not now but sometime soon. And that is fundamentally an insult and a back down from promises made. But I guess there are hidden contractual issues and who are we to know the in’s and out’s of the fine print. Let’s hope things don’t change too much — but my Darling has been looked after quite well considering, over the 14 years of service.
Otherwise. My darling is busy with keeping an eye on another family member who’s not well and some friends that need her shoulder.
One of the beauties of my Darling is that she will always find time to help friends in distress. At the cost of what energies are left after working long shifts at A&E.
But you can’t stop her. She is a force of nature and a woman of great spirit.
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Oh, I nearly forgot…
I’ve got to be up early for the Zoladex injection at 8am so I’m off to bed early.
OMG that needle!
Take care
Good night
