Post 316: Neck and head pain takes over from a great day.
To get my Darling to work in a better frame of mind, if I’m able and willing, I
get myself up out of bed and ready for her new day dawning just before her, so that I can hug her and, with a mouth of 24 clean teeth at the ready, embark on any smiley chats, kisses or just my own personal pleasure of making an effort, wave her off to work knowing all is well at the “pit-head” of cancer control and I’m also behaving myself — for now at least.
Well some things can’t be avoided. I’m prone to do the very thing I’m not allowed to do so, it’s hard for her to believe me saying goodbye while there’s a possibility I will over do it, in every way, everyday. But at least I do try my best to start with that intention.
It worked like a charm today.
I went to bed. Sorry I should rephrase that; my Darling helped me to bed. While that was being attempted over a long period of time, I was making noises from pain and strain that would probably stay with her all night while she worries about me on her every breath until morning.
That’s why I need her to wash those fears and night-despairs away down the bathroom sink every morning as I give her an update on my physical resurrection I went over night that will allow her to start the day happy on her, not my, terms.
So the headaches from yesterday (and the last few days to be more honest) have been interlaced with neck discomfort and stiffness that makes me wonder if this is just a neck pain bothering my poor head or something more sinister I had better get Dr Google to turn into a medical emergency.
“I choose normal life”.
Dr Googles ok sometimes if you’re strong enough but I’ll bet my in my shoulders are connected to aches down my back which in turn are repercussions from a holiday that was survived — but not easily.
I’ll say now, quietly, that I loved the holiday but it was possibly too long and that’s my fault alone.
I added the extra days.
I’m now wearing those extra days heavily in my bed.
For my Darling however live was good in Tenerife and she was enjoying the sunshine and warmth that comes with it.
She did not force me onto the beach.
Which for me was by far the best result. In fact I’m not sure she does sand well either.
Sand is a curious commodity and in terms of lying in the sun is probably the best choice — but not me. But I was on an island of sand worshipers with their multi coloured towels holding more and more grains of Canary Island sand in its invisible weaves each day, never to be extricated.
The promenade walks past endless neat rows of tall palms all edged by black stone walls as entrances to the beaches and all their granular glory.
I was happy in my walking shoes on the cobbles with the hat and sunglass salesmen and in the distance further along a bit were bars and ice-cream vendors glinting attractively pulling us along the promenade.
So there’s the first glimpse of the beachfront we loved.
My dancing fingers and heavy eyelids are stopping any more blog for now.
More tomorrow hopefully.
Have a great day and go easy on the suncream in the morning.
Good night
