Post 286: Did I ever say…
I love you.
My Darling is nibbling her way down to 1.75 stone off her weight, and her BMI that was so high before is now a respectable 26.75, heading to her goal of 26.
This feat of determination has been achieved alongside my absolutely opposed diet of sugar and fats.
To me, she is remarkable. I’m no help at all.
It’s easy to say you’ll do something when in reality it’s a tough call and even tougher action to pull off, but her near 2-stone loss is amazing. She is getting into jeans, tops and coats that I’ve not seen her wear in a long while, and the best thing ever is that she’s happy.
Happiness is something I’d like to give to her every day because she really is the most wonderful person I’ve been lucky enough to know and to love. The only other thing I need on a daily basis is her warm hand and her lovely smile.
I hope you know, my Darling, that I love you.
———
With a trip up to see the oncologist today, my day had to start with the usual things of washing away yesterday’s dust and grime, and my increasing confidence in the shower is remarkable.
It’s really easy to give up and become a lazy whatzit. But turning around a habit of being scared of the shower to wanting to jump in there is just what’s needed for my soul — and my personal hygiene ha ha.
It’s the little things that need sorting out first if you want the bigger things to happen. My small wins of daily chores are immense in the restructuring of my self-esteem.
My Darling helps out and fills in the gaps of my life that I’ve lately been unable to do, but I’m trying my best to change back into the Mr U, I was.
So the towelling off after a lovely shower is getting easier, I’ve noticed.
Even with the frozen shoulder I’m getting by easier day by day. And after spraying on some cologne I’m ready to take on the world and all it has for me today.
Our youngest had already arrived and was chatting to his Mum when I reached the ground floor on my whirring chair of descent. Oh how that “oldens” gadget has made our lives easier by virtue of just being there. I never expected to use it, but look at me now.
Big hugs preceded a small cereal breakfast and then we were away.
Our youngest drove under instructions (bad and very slow instructions) from me. But we were all cheerful today, and as the meeting was about HT (hormone treatment) and not me, we were relaxed too.
Better still, the empty corridors and waiting room were a happy coincidence, but there ahead of us was Dr S, smiling away at the sight of us.
Apparently she had a few no-shows this morning and that meant we were in the hard plastic chairs of doom (usually doom, ha ha) sooner than scheduled.
The friendly and happy discourse about holidays and sunshine was a brilliant starter, and my health was self-evident.
After a few questions about the cancer we naturally discussed the issue about HT.
Oh, also she said she had no worries about signing a letter about me carrying morphine across borders. Brilliant.
HT.
When all was said and done there’s little information to hand that specifically explains the use of HT for life, which is my concern.
Dr S told us that although there is a small-scale and ancient paper that questions the importance of HT for life, its conclusions are that staying on it especially if a patient requires more and perhaps new treatments, there would always be an element of HT associated with it. Thus there would be no reason to come off it.
The reasoning I’ve read and heard before — that “it must be doing something, so it’s a good thing to continue” — capped off the main reason for the meeting, so we moved happily on to other things and left with a little bit more understanding.
The next meeting will be after our holiday, in March, after a blood test.
At that next meeting if the bloods are good and the PSA is okish, there’s no reason why I can’t continue with no treatment. But if there’s pain or bad bloods, things might change and more investigations might be needed.
I’m hopeful for the former to be the case and we can plan another holiday. Why not! Ha ha.
We came homeward delighted and ready for a big lunch, during which we caught up a good bit and the smiles continued.
When we eventually got home we gave our youngest a few little jobs — jobs I can’t do or more likely am not allowed to do.
Fetching cases from the loft for the forthcoming holiday was one, eating the remaining scone that Mr Vicious left was next, with a cuppa to wash it down of course.
Then the hanging of a brand new cordless V8 Dyson on the wall upstairs, which sounds a lot more fun than the actual sleek battery-operated vacuum it is.
I wonder if I’m allowed to play with it?
Great job, youngen. You may now go. Ha ha. Which he did — so that he could walk Byron before going off to snooker tonight.
We then popped back into town. There were no decaf tea bags for me at home, which was a disaster, and we could stop by the new travel agents for the grand opening party this afternoon.
At the party we met again the agent that was so helpful in sorting our holiday out. We chatted a while with a rosé bubbly in hand. This was a nice ending to the day that was falling into darkness outside the steamy windows beside us.
So all in all my Darling and I had a lovely day. The surprise purchase of the V8 Dyson was the star of a successful day out and about. It’s Friday tomorrow so everyone will be down thecafé.
While I’ll be resting at home after a little treadmill action perhaps. I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.
Good night.
