Post 271: Not strong enough.
There was time enough not that long ago
When clocks and diaries were far too slow
Years trickled by like custard rivers
Sweet yet sour but eventually delivers
Everything new and part of gods plan
Where hopes were born as the months began
But as the clouds warmed way up in the sky
The sun beat down melting shadows where I cry
But along with diary stories the months seem so week
With my muscles and joints a reduced physique
Time seems to slip from autumns dewy grip
To leave panic and waste like the take away chip
That’s hard and cold in winters light
The end of the year the end of the fight.
———
I’m surprised at my inability to say how I feel and be at peace with my current life style.
There’s more to life than just breathing and being, you have to compete and scavenge for the scraps in your path.
I found my self today enjoying the company of friend’s who cheered me as I sat chatting and eating the odd morsel. But later on I became confused as to why I’ve got pains and pills and an illness I can’t see that holds me back and makes me weak.
I don’t want a cure as much as I want understanding.
The Christmas cake cheers me no end so to a stollen given to us by our guests today.
Christmas continues.
I still have the shoulder pains which worsens each day. Otherwise my aches are quite normal and acceptable.
Of course the ideal situation is no pain but that’s now not possible but something to aspire to.
The tv fills my day from dawn till after dusk after the eating and pill popping now so routine.
Tomorrow I see the counsellor and my homework is still to be done… the China dog ate it.
Good night.
