Post 247: Candlelit Carols after a soggy walk.
Little Bro and his youngest popped down today and I just had time to wrap a present for them before they arrived.
I was my usual self today and the shoulder and back pain is becoming chronic rather than what I hoped was acute.
Getting my hoodie on or pulling up my pants are now struggles with sharp pains that are not at all welcome.
I start the day cringing and sore with bunched up boxers being an uncomfortable but inevitable problem under the jeans. Aside from that was the growing concern about pouring a full jug kettle of boiling hot water, to make a row of teas for my lovely guests.
I’m getting middle back pains when I try and navigate the mugs to wet those little bags of dusty black leaves.
It’s not fair and increasingly worrying.
I wake each day in the hope that things are better but within minutes I realise they’re not.
So we all sit and chat around the kitchen table chattering about mock exams and boyfriends with his youngest and I realise that i’m having a normal conversation with her, with her answering for herself, its a new and exciting part of growing up. She’s sweet 16 now and well able to speak for herself. How time flies and the little girl we came to love with her boisterously amusing ways has turned into a lovely young lady that plays rugger and works shifts behind the scenes in a local pub — when she can get shifts.
Good on her. She’s growing into an independent woman, I’d like to see her fully grown into the great person with a down to earth attitude I know she can be.
It wasn’t long before they went on their way. We had exchanged presents and waved goodbye and promised to see each other very soon.
My Darling was a long way from ending her 10 hour shift and because of the church visit tonight should I eat a dinner or lunch?
In the end and after a text return that said it would be hours before she came home, I opted for a cheesy sandwich lunch with a couple of ripened fruit as well. I’m a good boy sometimes.
The kitchen was warm but the hallway was cold and miserable. It had rained all day and when it stopped the slight wind made the front door visitor greeting uncomfortable. So I returned with the food to the comfort of the tv lounge and another bit of K-Drama.
Another worry about my health is the fact that I’m dozing off more than I think I should be when watching tv.
I’m recently having to rewind 10 minutes to an hour’s worth of tv because I’ve shuddered awake and slightly confused about the drama’s plot. So regularly I’m getting nowhere with these storylines.
Is it worth talking to the doc about or is it a lazy 61 year old with regular morphine pain relief having senior moments like I’m prone to anyway? It’s something I’m pondering.
The dancing fingers and thumbs are not so bad now, but it’s technique rather than my nerves getting better as to why they’re not so bad.
I’m keeping my digits well away from the screen when writing so that I minimise the dancing fingers confusion.
More a work-around than a fix.
My Darling arrived home wanting to do this and that and use what little energy on stuff that’s not needed right now and I continued to try to get her to sit beside me and rest a while in front of the tv.
She did in the end but it wasn’t long before we needed to get ourselves together for the Carol service.
A half bowl of chilli and rice arrived under my nose as a winter warmer before the damp trudge in the dark lonely unlit paths to the church.
It’s also the shortest day unbelievably.
We were soaked by the time we walked the 1.2 miles along those wet unlit paths and roads till we reached the sanctuary of the very busy church filling up fast mainly with young families, which was absolutely right but still unexpected.
I thought I’d be the youngest there. Yes really. I was much mistaken.
The lights went off and the bell ringing finished and left us in the dark with the organist for company — and alongside all that there was a good deal of coughing and sneezing all about when you could hear them over the happy noises from behind us where the kids’ play section was.
It didn’t detract from the family service and added to the ambience — or so I tried to convinced myself.
Our phones were now used as torches to see the words on the carol sheets we “sang” from. Some songs I knew well and one I had never heard before — very modern but very happy and Christmasy.
We made our way out of the church after the last carol each with a mince pie which helped us on our way home in the damp, yet again.
My Darling had worn herself out and went straight to bed while I cleared up the kitchen I’d left in a mess and watched a bit more drama, two or three times, oops! Well I was sleepy, for good reason this time.
Going to church was more than a sing along in the darkness of a hundred candles. It was therapeutic. Kev was gone and a church may be the only conduit that really helps her in remembering Kev like she needs to.
It’s hard on her, me too, to really say goodbye and mean it. It’s all too unkind and such a big surprise. It’s still hard.
I hope it helped a little bit — I’m sure it did.
Although not a church-goer of any kind I’ve got to assist in getting my eldest’s wife’s wish to go to a midnight mass.
So I will be heading down the same paths to the same church for the last service before Christmas. Again walking in the dark, but with any luck it’ll be dry.
Also we will need to take our own mince pies if we want any for the trip home.
I’m looking forward to it.
So another sore shoulder and back pain day has ended.
I tried to watch the start of John Wick 4 but it didn’t float my boat. So I watched some more K-drama instead but after a while headed to bed not long after my last tablets for the day, at 10pm.
Oh the wonderful life I lead…
Good night, sleep well
