Post 188: I need the Acute Pain-relief Group’s Help!
All the last four days my rib has had pain
It’s going chronic quickly
Is it now in vain
———
As I position my bed in the best shape to avoid the blessed pain, I’m trying to find the words to express my plight.
Ordinarily this assistance would be under cover and one-to-one, helping me understand help unfold. Not in a blog where I can only mansplain and worry you.
Back to when I was getting dressed last Friday morning when the incident happened — I didn’t believe I needed any care package to keep me motivated and moving. Now, however, it’s clear I do need help.
I’ve chosen the trusty email to be my personal assistant — I just hope it will be looked upon as urgent by whoever picks it up.
My self-advocacy would normally be a more direct method, straight to my cancer specialist nurse N, but she’s gone from the horizon sadly, and there’s only this new way to get a message read via the oncology-secretaries.
As that urgent email is sent in the late evening, after a day of intermittent pain and lots of time alone in a chair that seems less comfortable each day, I should mention that I’ve had the dreaded AFib as well today.
The palpitations started after midnight around 01:30 and continued right along to the early afternoon, around 15:00 — by which time I had gotten fed up with the dizziness every time I stood to do anything, and tired of waiting for it to go.
Luckily for me, these events are few and far between since the new heart pills, so this is a minor irritation, not a big issue needing a serious intervention. I’ll just ride the wave of fast heart rates while the comfort eating takes care of the boredom.
A little after the event had become a memory my Darling came down, but as she looked like she was in the grip of an awful head-cold, she really should have climbed those stairs back to the comfort of the bedroom — and rested some more.
So while I calmed down from the AFib and held my Darling’s hand, a drama she chose unfolded on the TV — one that pitched two warring Jewish families into battle over some kidnapped grandkids.
I was struggling to concentrate on the drama, my eyes were too tired to stay open, which led me to miss huge swathes of plot — and all the while the overwhelming pain from time to time exploded from my chest.
The rib pain won out every time.
I’ve now started to abandon the careful watch (with no action) on the fractured rib in my left chesty-box, and the oral morphine is now helping to dull the pain. Why did it take me so long to figure that out?
The fact that I asked Dr S about the ribs last time we met means I’m in a perfect position to ask again if there’s any reason she can see (on the whole-body MRI scans) to explain away this acute nightmare I’m experiencing.
If not, it could be brought into focus for the next (soon-to-be-organised) scans.
Although that’s the long-term plan for the ribs, the only way I can get comfort in this situation is to talk to the hospice pain relief team I guess. They’re so smart — they’ll have a plan. Well, I sincerely hope so.
So there is the day from hell I had to endure, on top of having to watch my Darling suffering too.
I wouldn’t normally be so focused on negative vibes while I blog, but these last few days have affected my writing — without me giving you much of a reason for the rambling and the inane struggles of thoughts that, quite honestly, are not me or meaningful. I’m a sleep deprived Mr U lately.
So I hope tomorrow will bring a response and some care for my rib (and assistance for my Darling’s head-cold).
The lack of sleep has been a major factor in my inability to work out how best to go about these problems, but my sleep patterns are shocking.
I need to reset.
I need some sleep.
Good night.
