Post 186: Lovely Flowers and a Lost Week.
I can’t ever remember my last bouquet,
But I will buy the two today.
One for my Darling forever beside,
The other for Sis, for gifts supplied.
———
It’s Friday!
That’s cause for celebration.
Although the prescriptions aren’t ready for pick-up today, I want to pop into town anyway. I want to keep the walking momentum going and try to make the walk into town a walk in the park (ha-ha).
I have another reason too — a text message from a very good mate of mine who’s working on a house in Main Street. He basically said, “If you’re passing, stop by and say hello. It’ll be great to see you.”
I haven’t seen him in a while, so meeting up is exactly what I want to do.
The CNC cornflakes aren’t giving me the wow they did a week ago, but I’m still having a great big bowl a day — just because I can. I’m still getting the sweetness, but not that euphoric feeling I had before. I’ve over-dosed I guess. Still, I won’t need rehab; I’ve not got an addictive personality. I’ll survive — I can live without them.
Not so for Mr Vicious, who’s addicted to his rice-based diet and taking chunks out of family and friends when he can. So, to keep away from the first-aid box, I’ll feed him and be his friend for a while. Big Sis will be here to give him a tummy rub later; I guess that’s what she does to me too, in a way. She gives my tummy a rub, and a few nice treats — just because she can. Bless her.
My Darling comes downstairs and we quickly exchange our plans for the next few hours — including the flowers — in a bid to understand today’s to-do list.
I’m happy to mention (and spoil the surprise) that I’m getting flowers for Big Sis and my Darling, because I don’t want her buying herself some today.
She looks at me like I’m crazy, and I know she’s kind of pleased about this rare event — me buying her flowers.
Later on, I text my mate that I’m heading his way, give my ever-worried Darling a big hug, and get going.
Down the road and up a short ladder was my mate, holding on to a brand-new gutter with his back to me. When he came down, I shouted over to him and he dropped what he was doing, smiled, and came over for a nice long chat.
I get embarrassed about disturbing someone who’s being paid to work, so I felt awkward at first, but before too long I was into my verbal stride — and so was he.
How nice it is to know friends like him. He’s a genuinely good guy, and talking to him was easy — for me, a welcome change from talking to myself.
I left him to his work after arranging to meet up for a Christmas meal in a couple of months and continued on to the superstore and all its treats.
The entrance to the big store is where all the flowers are, and it was easy to find the particular ones I wanted — large white lilies. I grabbed two bunches and bleeped them into the basket. Because they’re so Lange that was easier said than done, but in the end I had them under control and wandered off to the promotional aisles, where all the Christmas and Halloween stuff was, to get some treats to give back to Big Sis.
This will be the first time I’ve had the wit to give her back some of what she gives. I’m always grateful, but lately I feel a bit uneasy that I’m taking advantage too. Anyway, I had an orange-chocolate theme, so I found as many things as I could that fitted the brief and before long bleeped through half a bag of sweet treats.
The next bit was getting home with this bounty — and that’s where I was going to struggle. My rib, that broken rib, was going to be badly affected if I wasn’t careful, so I gritted my teeth and held onto the flowers and chocolate in my right hand only, all the way home — even when I really wanted to swap.
The mile and a bit home became a challenge, and I felt a little stupid to be aggravating the rib pain, but I’m a bit thick like that — mind over matter, not worrying about the possible consequences because I’m doing something kind, and the balance of the cosmos is on my side (I thought).
By halfway home, my right hand was numb — but my rib was okay. When I got home, I was ecstatic.
I hid the treats, arranged my Darling’s huge bunch of lilies in a vase, and set about getting my lunch together so Big Sis and I could eat together, as usual.
It wasn’t long before she arrived, and as she did, I was helping — Dad-style — my eldest with a DIY problem involving a washing machine swap he was attempting at home up-north. Big Sis said hi to him as I tried to mansplain my ideas over the video link, then he was gone.
Left to our own devices, Big Sis and I are happy to play together. It wasn’t always like that growing up, I suppose, but we’ve never come to actual blows. Being the eldest, Big Sis was the boss — but she was never bossy. We had a loose bond as kids, but the more we talk over old times, the more I feel that bond between us is still there, and it’s getting stronger. Not because we’re trying to make it happen, but because it’s just… natural.
I feel it too with Little Bro, but that’s a different kind of bond. He and I are somehow connected in a nearly parental way. It’s hard to explain — so I won’t, not here, not yet.
Big Sis was her usual self and ate down her lunch while I ate mine. My Darling came back from town and breezed into the house and conversation, allowing me to get, arrange and give Big Sis her little gift of treats and flowers.
I was happy — she was happy. Big hugs all around.
Later, my brother-in-law turned up and popped in for a cuppa. He’d been visiting his best and oldest pal and was passing by on his way home. He knew his Darling was here anyway, but it was nice to see him. He’s getting anxious about his first cataract operation next week, so I tried to allay his fears, even though I don’t know much about the process. He didn’t stay long — it was getting late and Big Sis was here rather than home making his dinner, so they both headed off after some really cuddly hugs.
———
And now, to fill in the gaps, I have some additional facts about how I felt today.
At one point in the conversation, I excitedly asked my Darling — in front of Big Sis — “Where would we go first if I was allowed to travel on planes again?”
I thought she’d say New York, to see Kev’s widow.
She thought for a millisecond and said, “Ireland, to see Kev,” and smiled…
I suddenly froze. My heart stopped. My eyes stared without blinking.
I cried like a baby.
Both Big Sis and my Darling jumped up and tried to console me, but they both felt the same.
I won’t ask again.
———
And lastly…
My Darling’s big birthday (and our second anniversary of our renewal) is coming up, as I’ve already mentioned. But… I’ve lost a week somewhere.
Because of all the talk today about it, I suddenly realised it’s this coming week — not another week away. Gulp.
I must have been sleepwalking these last few weeks. I’ve lost a week.
How do I feel?
In a bit of a panic, actually, if I’m honest.
Our eldest and his wife K are staying with us, as is my Darling’s sister J.
I’m now a control freak out of my depth — where are the plans for them to sleep, eat, play, smoke, chat?
What will I be able to do in my condition, with my mind equally on recovery and hosting family for my Darling’s big weekend?
Oh my — what the hell happened to that week?
Why am I not sorting out and arranging things with my Darling in a bid to organise myself and the house for this week’s guests?
What am I to do?
I’m overwhelmed — and I should be drilled in my OCD mental lists of what-to-do’s.
I went to bed early, tired and worried. I said nothing to my Darling, but she knew.
My goodnight hug started as a soft, loving hold, but as seconds ticked by all we could hear was my quiet sobbing in her shoulder.
I’ll be back on it tomorrow.
I promise.
This is just a blip.
