Post 133: The space between us is too much to bear at times.
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The image from the top of the Empire State Building is a reminder of the highs and lows of life. Make the most of every minute.
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My Darling went off to Ireland after a great big hug — no tears. Later, she landed safely and drove to the wake.
All is going well, and the best I can do is pipe down and rest up.
My daughter-in-law took notes at the cancer annual review meeting today, which reinforced the fact that I’m ill but in recovery. The chemo is hard on my body, and I need to lower my expectations and let myself heal.
Afterwards, we went for a coffee and slice of cake — a real treat. The coffee and walnut was on point, and the village café a breath of fresh air.
It’s a shame the diarrhoea has to spoil things, but there you go. I can’t have everything.
I feel like my babysitters have already earned their stay with all they’ve done to keep me well. I feel embarrassed about the squits and the pill alarms going off all day. It’s not fair on them.
Oh — I had a catch-up call from the pain relief nurse from the hospice, and we’ve agreed to start doubling the gabapentin. Gingerly at first, but over a week I’ll be able to see if it helps reduce the pains.
I miss my Darling. I know she’s in safe hands with all her brothers and sisters beside her, but I wish I was there.
Tomorrow is the funeral, and I’ll have a day or two off the blog. I’ll be back soon. I’ve been all over the place this week, and I know the blog’s been under-par. I’m sorry. My mind is not my own.
I’ll try to be more respectful to my own body and situation from now on. For now, I’ll say bye-bye.
See you soon.
PS
My day was lifted when my Darling told me there’s a copy of my poem for Kev framed and standing beside his coffin.
I’m there beside you, Kev.
