Thoughts and emotions

...I was looking at some photos of my late wife, and for the first time smiled and thought how beautiful she was and how lucky I was to have found someone like her and for once felt a little warmth inside me.

I have just been cleaning the bathroom plug and found myself looking to see if there was any of my wife's hair in the plug hole - pretty grubby I know! But when I realise there was nothing there it struck me how I will never ever see her again and how final that is. Of course this is the obvious and I can easily say that, but inside this is the hard thing that certainly my 'sub-consious' is struggling with its that key…

...it's strange. I am getting more acustomed to life without my wife, the routines, etc. But still miss her just as much as the day she left us. So what it seems like is that I am just getting used to missing her! What a strange thing. Is this healing? Or just as good as it gets?

Tonight would have been our 2nd anniversary, sadly I was celebrating it alone. But for a brief moment I felt I was the luckiest man alive to have had such a beautiful wife and was so grateful of the time we spent together. Happy anniversary gorgeous where ever you may be x

...grieving. Was thinking today that this grieving seems similar in some respects to getting over an addiction. I was just think if I could have one more conversation with my wife I'd be OK...like one more hit!

I guess it would be like an addiction really though, so makes sense