I just happened to notice that my last blog post was about how positive things were. This journey really is a rollarcoaster because as I sit here and write this post, I am fighting back the tears.
Things were going so well but the last two weeks have been absolute hell. It all begins on 19th August when mum, in an effort to try and get mobile after the hip replacement, went to stretch her legs in the kitchen with her crutches....and fell onto a cold tile floor. This was a matter of hours after a visit from the physiotherapist who said how well she was doing. She dislocated the new hip and ended up in hospital. She had an anesthetic and had it popped back in! Unfortunately this has set the recovery back a few weeks.
Then, on Wednesday this week, she went to bed and coughed...mum has a constant cough now from the lung cancer. As she did so she felt some fluid and so got herself to the commode where she coughed up a cup full of blood. Dad was of course terrified and so called 999. Paramedics were there within 5 minutes and really looked after her. She has been in hospital ever since...she is on antibiotics and has been diagnosed with a chest infection....they haven't said it is any more serious but I don't know what to think.
I am not coping to be honest. One of my brothers is adament that she is going to be here and fight this. My other brother would say she may only have a few months. His wife has told me to think about re arranging our wedding which is scheduled for June 2014. I don't know what to think.
I have spent the week googling and trying to work out if stage 4 NSCLC is always terminal...my brother says it is. The Dr's haven't said that. I am feeling so lost...I need to know if this is the end.
I go on holiday on Tuesday with Dan and we exchange contracts on our house yesterday...reasons supposedly to be cheerful so why am I so so sad.
Love always, Katie
