Hi, good to meet you all!
As this is entry number 1 of (hopefully) many more to come, I thought I would give you a brief history of how I ended up here and who the key players are in this story!
Firstly, ME - I am a 27 year old solicitor, youngest of 3 children to my wonderful mum and dad. The other 2 children come in later! In the process of buying a house, got engaged on 7th December 2012 (to the lovely Dan - more on him later) and getting married on 14th June 2014. All sounds good so far?! Too good to be true maybe...
Next, MUM, my best friend in the whole world (and I cannot emphasise that enough). 64, never smoked a single cigarette in her life, still working (part time cleaning supervisor), and looking after 5 grandchildren, keeps herself a healthy 9 and a half stone at 5 foot 7 and had her last drink on her hen do - mum and dad were married 41 years in July. Healthy Healthy person.
DAD - proper dad, doesn't cook or clean but ask him to fix anything and he is there! Works hard, keeps healthy, doesn't smoke. His family were big smokers and he lost his dad, mum, uncle and sister to lung cancer.
How did we get here then???
Good question...May 2013 we all went on holiday together to Cornwall, Me, mum and dad, Dan (my fiancee). 2 of the many nieces and nephews (Beth and Daniel - 13 and 9 years old - 2 of my eldest brothers children).
All was going well until Mum started with some pain in her hip - intermittent and not that intrusive - it didn't spoil the (active) holiday. She came back and returned to work. By the start of June it was getting worse so she took a sick note (a HUGE deal for her- and her first in her life) and rested....rest didn't work so the GP referred her for a scan - mum and dad paid private to speed this along.
On the 21st June she was admitted to MRI (Manchester) for a suspected abcess to be drained. Nothing sinister there - nothing sinister was suspected - she was fit and well.
When they drained the abcess, it was a different make up to that which they expected and so it was sent off for analysis.
Then at 3.40pm on the 28th June 2013 I picked up my mobile at my desk and my brother hit me with the news that the absess was actually a tumour and probably not a primary one. I don't really remember what happened then, somehow I got home and to the hopsital. All the time thinking my mum, the healthiest person I know, is going to die. It was raining I can remember that much. I stood in the train station waiting for a train home and looking at people thinking...why isn't it you?!? Terrible I know.
Scans followed, CT, PET, etc and the primary source tracked down to...THE LUNG! I feel naiive compared to other people on here as I don't know the staging etc. but it has to be stage 4 I assume as it has travelled to the hip..who knows.
In the midst of all this - mum suffered a fracture to her hip somewhere along the way. She was bed bound for 4 weeks in MRI in the end.
So, where are we now - 3 weeks ago mum had a total hip replacement (and much of the femor) without anesthetic - just epidural. She is now home and slowly getting more mobile.
The cancer in the bone is the same cancer as in the lung and it is a cancer associated with HEAVY smokers! Ridiculous that this has hit my mum. It normally "splinters" everywhere according to the oncologist before they find it but that hasnt happened to mum - just the lung to the hip. They were talking about surgery but due to the risks she is going to be starting chemo in a few weeks, followed by radiotherapy.
Since coming home - mum has developed a cough and her voice is permanently hoarse. The Dr's said after the scans that the lung tumour was stable - hard to believe that now. The prognosis - gaurded but good.
What about me? I can't stop crying, I don't want to go to work or get up even, I don't want to talk about the house...the wedding...the future. I feel physically sick. The thought of getting married without her, it is meaningless. I am worried about my dad...they have been togther since they were 15.
Everything makes me cry - pictures on Facebook of my friends with their mums, articles in magazines about places we've been together, the idea of one day having children and doing it without her.
The Dr's have been positive - they have said they "MAY" be able to cure her but this flies in the face of everything on the internet (I have tried not to read it but it is hard) and flies in the face of the statistics.
So, now you are up to speed...of course there is so much detail missed out. Crying in the car park in the rain with dad at MRI, watching him give so much emotion to his wife and call her "sweetheart" (never normally in public), Dan spending 8 hours on a Saturday cooking meals for dad to keep him eating well whilst mum was in hospital, visitors, prayers, masses being said for her. We have strength in numbers in our family and strength in faith - me and mum are practising Catholics and somewhere up there someone is getting hounded for prayers - we have strangers in other churches praying for us because they heard through a friend of a friend, priests and nuns all over the world devoting prayers to mum.
I need my mum....she has to do this...right??
I hope you enjoyed my first entry and come back soon to hear how we are doing..
Katie
