Me and my dad Mike clash a lot. He’s so stubborn in his old age. He’s partially deaf in one ear and it drives me crazy having to repeat myself all the time! He doesn’t have much patience, but then neither do I. He’d never admit this, but I think we are very alike.
I want to say thank you to him for looking after me when I had cancer. He already looked after my mum at home 12 years earlier and then she died. That must have been so difficult.
I felt so guilty when I was diagnosed with a different cancer. He must have wondered what he did to deserve it all over again. I took him for granted. I resented the fact that he could not always support me emotionally. He said once that if he let his barriers down he would crumble. So I know that he cared, and when he said “you’ll be fine” and “the cancer’s not going to come back,” this wasn’t him being cold and uncaring, this is what he hoped for me, this is what he’d convinced himself because he refused to let me think that he worried that I might not see 40, or the cancer might come back.
So thanks Dad. I’d never say all this to you but thank you for taking me to every hospital appointment, (AKA dad's taxi), for all the tea and coffee, and all the dinners you cooked when I wasn’t well. Thanks for being nan AND grandad to my girls. But mostly thanks for being strong and for never breaking down in front of me. You don’t know it but you made me strong too and I would never have got through it without you.
Joanna and Colin
Joanna had breast cancer 3 years ago. Her step dad Colin tells us about how that was for him.
“When Joanna was diagnosed, the bottom fell out of my world. How could it be fair that this amazing girl had to battle and deal with something so utterly hideous. I wished beyond wish that I could take it away, to do something more than simply being there. I felt helpless and for the first time like I couldn’t protect my “little” girl. We helped where we could with practical things, driving her to appointments, making meals, just being there, taking her out so she could leave “it” behind for a brief while etc. Cancer taking control of all our lives was one of the hardest things.”
“In typical Joanna fashion, she got everything organised, wrote a timeline of when everything was going to happen and set her wedding as the deadline. I asked her once why she’d done this. She answered that it was her way of regaining control. Not being able to control what goes on in her body, but to at least be able to have something to work towards and to tick-off when another step was done. “
"Joanna is 3 years since diagnosis this June and her mum and I couldn’t be more proud. She’s kicked cancer square in the face, got married, got a new job and got her new normal."
Joanna said
"I'm so thankful to my dad for always being there when I need him, for being utterly reliable, a sounding board and just generally being awesome."
Gabriella and Victor
Gabriella's dad Victor sadly passed away from cancer in December 2007
Gabi said
"I am thankful to my dad for teaching me about bravery and strength- both mental and physical. My dad was a personal trainer, very tall and very strong so the effects on his physical appearance over the course of his illness were all the more striking. He was ill for 7 years, had a really poor quality of life and spent most of the day in pain and in bed."
"He found the repeated cycles of Chemotherapy wearing and traumatic and despite this, chose to go on with further treatment in order to spend more time with his children. I watched him push his body to its limits and am grateful for the decisions he made."
"Lastly, I am thankful for the 19 previous years he gave me as a hands-on, dedicated father, without whom I wouldn't be the person I am today."
This father’s day, whether your dad is still with you or not, think about all the things you are thankful to him for...
To all the amazing dads out there. Have a happy father's day.
Caroline
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