Just been looking after mum

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

12 Oct 2011

I have just been to look after my mum, i live in the midlands and she lives in my hometown Bristol. Mum was diagnosed about 3 years ago and had had numerous treatments but the cancer has spread and she was given a few monthes to live a few monthes ago. Throughout the illness she has been so strong and possitive and just got on with everything you wouldnt have guessed she had cancer! But over the last month she was told it had also spread to her bones and shortly after that she was very ill and in a lot of pain so was admitted to St peters hospice, she was there for a few weeks and had numerous infections but she improved and has now been at home for about a week, but she needs 24 hour care and is so tired all the time, ive just spent 2 days looking after her and it all seems so real now, i was never in denial but it just didnt seem real beacause she has been well apart from during treatment and has just got on with it. I feel so sad seeing her like this and knowing the end is near, i just dont want to think of life without my mum...my best friend she is only 53 im 29 she will never see my children or be the amazing nan i know she would be. Im going to miss her so much i dont know what im going to do, how do you get through this?

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Lou,

As Nic says don't think that far ahead.

Take the time to find things to smile about together each day. On the days were things can be helped with a hug do just that lie together chatting or sleeping when the tiredness gets too much.

Caring for a loved one is hard enough work just on the emotional level so don't feel you have to be superhuman, the washing,ironing or housework in general it is not imperative. Taking the time to share the day with each other is.

Hugs and best wishes Helen xxx
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strawberrywhip over 13 years ago

So sorry Lou,

I have daughters your age, and Im sure she must be feelilng the same.. Im sure she would want you to know how much she loves you..can you say those things to her....it must be such a precious time to talk to each other..and say things we sometimes never get the chance to say. She sounds like a wonderful Mum..and you know through your relationship with her, her love will manifest itself down through the generations... a loving mother passes on wonderful experiences to her children.

Thinking of you both x
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Lou,

My thoughts are with you your Family but most of all your Mum I hope she will be painfree and at peace. When the time comes. Sit have a talk with her about the good times you both had together.I send you my strength comfort and support of the time to come, and the time you have together.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Lou, my thoughts are with you...it is such a difficult time. My mum is dying of pancreatic cancer and only has a few months left - it is very hard to take it all in, but I find taking one step at a time and each day as it comes helps. Enjoy the time you have left with mum and tell her all the things you need to tell her. Sending lots of healing energy and strength. Peanutxx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Lou

Thinking of you and sending you love and strength. This is a very difficult and emotional time but I can only repeat what has already been said. Treasure each moment, each smile and each hug. They are precious memories that you can hold forever in your heart.

Stay strong Lou.

Much love,

Chrissie xxxx
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