The first time that I woke up on the 16th, the day after 'the news', was at around 5am. I broke into tears and started to sob. Kels comforted me and helped to bring me away from that state.
I managed to go back to sleep for a little while. I woke up at 9ish (I think). The plan for the day was to go and spend time with mum and dad at the hospital until early to mid afternoon. Get some more day parking permits for their car (our council charge £2 per ticket and they only last up until midnight of the day you've stated on the ticket - absolute day light robbery) and head round to Kels mum and dads as we had an evening out planned with them. The evening consisted of dinner and a Micheal Buble impersonator.
Mum left for the hospital 10 minutes before me but somehow I arrived 10 minutes before her 
♂️. When I walked into room D, my dad was sat in the chair next to his bed. He was Spritely and somehow in a 'good' mood.
The man next door to my dad in the hospital (Nigel) also has Cancer. Terminal. He has around 2 months according to Katie (his wife). Who also happens to work at MidKent college. Small world. She has been so kind and helpful during our time on the ward!! Nigel was diagnosed two years ago. Prostate.
I left the hospital at 2pm. Gave the old pair a kiss and a cuddle. I was given strict orders to enjoy myself and have a few drinks. At least 4 for my old man, was the request!!
Walking out of the ward, through the hospital and to my car in the car park was a real challenge. Mentally and emotionally.
I could not escape 'the haze' state that I had been in since the night before. I felt totally numb. Unable to focus in on anything.
I made my way round to get the parking tickets. Parked up and made my way round to the council building.
Walking past people on the street, my mind wandered to a place of jealousy I suppose. My life had just changed forever. I'd been plunged into a state of anger, fear and numbness. And these people were laughing and joking. That carefree, everything's good, smily happiness had evaporated in an instant upon hearing 'the news'.
This jealous feeling, if that's what it is, needs to be worked on. It isn't right to be feeling that way towards complete strangers who are simply enjoying themselves.
Tickets done. Drive round to Croydon done.
Time to try and enjoy my evening as my old man ordered me to do. It was a very difficult thing to do. Especially as it was only a day after 'the news'. I did my best. The food at Reigate Manor that evening was very good. Extra effort, perhaps, seeing as it was intended as a valentines evening doo. The Buble act was good. He sounded like him. Thank god. After all that was the point and that is his job! We drank, chatted and had a dance.
I managed to lock 'the news' away as best I could. It did, however, get the best of me later on in the evening whilst on the dance floor. I welled up and shed a few tears. Kels and Julie gave me hug and tried to lift my spirits. Again, I did my best to try and have some form of enjoyment. All things considered, it was a good evening. I enjoyed myself as much as I possibly could given the circumstances.
Sunday. I woke up feeling very low. Still struggling to come to terms with what the preceding days had churned out!
I left Kels, Julie and Keith at around 1pm and headed straight for the hospital. When I arrived, my mum and dad were chatting and seemed in good spirits. Katie and Nigel had still not managed to move to the hospice as Nigel was not yet well enough to move!
We spent the afternoon chatting, playing quiz games and talking about tv series.
My dad was constantly making sure his 'room mates', the other gents who were unwell, were ok. He made jokes, witty puns and tried to engage them all at different times in some conversation or a quick joke!
He was marvellous!
Picking other people's spirits up, making them laugh and smile. All whilst dealing with his own newly diagnosed illness.
I can not put into words really how incredibly happy (a new, different kind of happy), proud and emotional it made me every time he did that!
As afternoon turned to evening and the light faded away my mum left the hospital. I stayed. This was the first time that I'd been alone with my dad since the diagnosis. I was, for whatever reason, more emotional than I had been when my mum was with us.
I asked him how he was feeling, that we needed to be positive (that word, he doesn't like that word anymore) and that we didn't know what we were actually dealing with yet.
We would get a better idea on Tuesday.
He was as positive as I would of expected, mixed with a sense of realism and not wanting to make statements that were based upon wishful thinking. A sensible approach in my opinion.
I left the hospital at around 8pm. The hardest time of the day. I remained I contact with him via WhatsApp, just as I had done during the previous two nights.
Hospital early tomorrow morning, then round to work. Work. How could I possibly be at work or do any work right now.
Saving grace is that it's half term. I can take time off if I need to and not worry about it.
