Does it improve ??

1 minute read time.

Went to see my consultant armed with my mom and a whole list of questions. Seems to me that everything is so so matter of fact..............do l even matter in all of this l am beginning to wonder. The last doc left me with the information that although there is no spread to lymph nodes margins were VIN 3 in a few places. Ok so now l want to know what that means for me

they will monitor me every 3 months....................ok good mm well no its not.How long will l have to do that for ...........indefinately you will never be discharged from this clinic. I have been told to monitor myself in between visits for any changes erm not so sure about that one as didnt have symptoms before if l didnt get the abscesses then l still wouldnt know l had cancer there.

Consultant said we observe you every 3 months and WHEN it changes not if we can do more surgery. What you mean l have to go through all this again well maybe yes.Where will you get the skin from oh dont worry about that part there is still alot more that can be removed......................really???????

Oh and another bomb shell because of my history......................CIN, lots and lots of treatment followed by hysterectomy,  VIN, Cancer vulva l am now at an in creased risk of developing AIN. My consultant says the risk is increased due to vulvar cancer but it just makes me wonder if there is any part of my lower body that this wont affect.

So l sit here whinging and moaning when many people have it worse than me..............l need to hurry up and heal so l can get myself back to work and some sort of normality. The thought of lying there legs spread for all to see for the rest of my life well it doesnt appeal it really doesnt.

Need to record this as an angry kick cancers ass day cus l have so had enough!!!!!!!

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Can I join in and Kick, kick away at cancers ass.

    You really are going through it and all I am able to do is send you a huge big hug ((hug)) and a big wish for things to get better for you.

    Take care

    Jan x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Jan

    thank you so much l dont think l expected any replies was just a way to vent it all out. I guess l was expecting to fing this was the end of my journey but instead discovered that this was just the beginning. The beginning of a journey l dont want to take and maybe without 3 kids l would make different choices who knows.

    I just want to heal and feel normal again and right now that seems so far far away wondrering if l will ever feel normal again.All of this is so unrealistic of me  but all l can say is thank you thank you and thank you............................and the biggest of hugs back to you. xxxxxx

    Mandy xxxx