Its 4.25am Mo's just woke up to go to the loo,automatically I woke & switched the bedroom lamp on.Mo came out of the loo and sat back on the bed and asked me what the time was,"4'o'clock" I said,"thats good" Mo replied thinking she had been asleep overnight longer than normal.Instead of saying to her "Yes luv you have done well" I said "no it wasn't because now you have broken your sleep pattern and you would be tired tomorrow",slightly irritated.Why did I say that???.Anger? Tiredness? What?.Then I asked Mo if she was coming back to bed she said no she wanted a cup of tea.Why did I feel cross when she said that,in the past Mo use to wake up at night for whatever reason and have a cup of tea and a smoke it was never a problem,what's changed?.Maybe Pauls right I am over-caring,emotionally too close I wish I knew,it didn't get any better!.Mo went into the front room & I made the tea,she saw a ready rolled cigarette in the ashtray,ready for me in the morning.Mo picked it up and started to smoke it,while smoking the cigarette the end had burnt through the rizla and left a piece hanging lit on the end.Mo noticed this and promptly,without hesitation,went to pull the lit paper off as you would,"What are you doing?" I said in a slightly raised voice "you'll burn your bloody finger",then I realised what I had done.I had spoken to Mo as if i was telling a child off for playing with matches,immediately on realising what I had done,tears started to well up in my eyes,I felt so guilty and bad!!!
