Paul and Ewa visited today popped up to see Mo and give me a birthday card & present as it was my birthday as well.To be honest I hadn't given it much thought,I had been too busy with nurse visits,social services visiting,telephone calls etc.Hadn't seen or spoken to Paul,only the occasional text,for about a week.I felt he needed the time to take things in about his mums cancer and he admitted that he had found it hard and been at that denial phase,in fact we all needed to 'take things in'and I didn't think having 'the chat' was a good idea.We had 'the chat'this evening Paul,Ewa and myself all had things on our mind which needed to be aired.I had concerns that Paul & Ewa needed to know about Mo's physical and mental decline over the last two weeks and that she wasn't responding as well to the increase in meds,Paul had concerns that I was being a bit OTT with the caring aspect by taking Mo's decision making capabilities away from her slightly and maybe embarrassing her & anyone visiting at the time doing so. Ewa had concerns about a total stranger coming in to clean Mo when there is family around to do it for her,people she knew.We all,eventually,managed to reach a level playing field and achieve some common ground after some heated discussions and slightly frayed tempers.Both Paul & Ewa want to be more 'hands on' when they can and cover me so I can get a break they have no problem with what I have put in place from social services,who will hopefully instruct us as well so we can do our bit or regarding the nursing visits,macmillan nurse visits the O.T advice etc.I am just glad Paul & Ewa have come through,which I knew they would,and hopefully between us we can Mo's quality of life better.
