Feeling a bit down today Mo's not responding as well as I would like/hope to the increase in meds,shes still so tired & not engaging too well in conversation. Our neighbours came round today for a cup of tea,Mo managed to get up and sit in the front room while they were here. Sue & I tried to talk to Mo and hold a conversation with her but it was just yes/no replies she found it hard to construct a sentence herself. You could see she had some degree of understanding what we were saying but there was nothing there,not in a vague way, more of a "I know what I want to say but cant way" that worries me plus she was getting tired mentally & physically. Another time today I felt, for the first time that I wanted to 'bugger off' down the town for a while. i guess that is because i'm here 24/7 dealing with the way Mo's changed & seeing her acting strangely day in day out,its just the cancer. I will be glad when another carer comes in to look after her instead of me for a day ,that makes me feel really bad too!
I also wish her son Paul would wake up and 'smell the coffee' and realise his mum is not getting any better after taking her 'magic pills' and this isn't another trip to 'Woodlands psychiatric unit'. He needs to have as much quality time as he can with Mo and not sweep the cancer under the carpet or away in a locked cupboard and forgotten about. If he does and not face up to it he will have regrets but I can't tell him that (but i may have to??), understandably he needs to deal with the cancer in his own time,but its not really a luxury he can afford in reality. Paul needs to put work,money problems or whatever, on hold and be there for his mum now she needs him more than ever now. I know he loves her to bits as does Mo, him, I can only hope he comes through for her, sooner rather than later.
