I went to see Mo today didn't see her yesterday,she sort of recognised me but she was very sleepy due to the increase in the morphine dosage in the syringe driver. The nurses increased the morphine dosage as Mo's tumour was giving her a lot of pain,to the extent Mo at times laid on her side,a rarity,normally sleeps on her back and she was very tearful,Bless her!!. Thankfully with the increase the pain abated and she was comfortable again which was good,the down side to the increase meant Mo was even more tired and sleepy than earlier but at least the pain was being controlled. Mo's breathing was also very laboured but the nurse told me that she wouldn't of realised or uncomfortable,but even so its still very distressing for anyone especially Paul and myself to watch Mo seem to struggle. Mo had written some letters to everyone while she was at Hurstwood park,seems an age ago now,I got very upset when I read mine. Even way back then Mo knew it wasn't good news and things were going to worsen,I still find it very hard to get my head around things now at times,God knows how Mo did then, she's a lot stronger than anyone knew or thought. I don't know how much longer Mo will be with us, none of us do I try not to think about it and just take each and every day as it comes as we have been doing hoping Mo keeps fighting. Is that selfish of me,I do hope not.
