I rang the Hospice tonight about 9.30-10.00pm as I do every night just to check that Mo's ok and settled for the night. I spoke to the Ward sister who was on the night shift, she said "Mo was settled and comfortable" no change there but I could sense there was a 'but' coming on. It did "but Mo isn't drinking as much tonight as she can't swallow very well I think the tumour is affecting her capability to remember how to swallow". Immediately I started to worry about this latest development,'what if Mo stops swallowing altogether','what can we do about it?','is this an indication of Mo going downhill more?', all these questions!, I WAS WORRIED!!. Because I was so worried I rang the Hospice back and asked the Ward sister if there was a doctor there and if there was could I speak to him, needed some answers yet again!. I was quite prepared to drive up to the hospice and see a doctor and check on Mo but the nurse said there was no doctor at the Hospice 24 hrs, all they had was an on-call doctor for emergencies only so I couldn't anyway. When I go to visit Mo tomorrow I will speak to the doctor and have a talk with him/her and see what options,if any, are available. It won't stop me worrying about it all night though, I may have to put my mum off tomorrow so that I can see a doctor asap. I realise things can change overnight with Mo but after the good day we had earlier on this is like being 'kicked in the nuts',metaphorically speaking,at least Mo doesn't seem to be that distressed by it all which is a good thing.
