As I mentioned earlier Ewa was at the Hospice which pissed me off straight away,I managed to keep my cool,momentarily,why u ask what happened. It was lunchtime and the staff were busy doing what they do serving lunches to the patients. I mentioned to Ewa that I would prefer it if the nurses fed Mo as she has got to know them and they tend to get a better response from her when feeding Mo. Being a professional they can also gauge how much Mo is willing to eat and when she doesn't want anymore or just doesn't like the food. "Why don't you want me to feed Mo?","I can't see it being a problem I have fed her before in the evening". I said that I just felt Mo may feel embarrassed or humiliated with you feeding her thats why I don't do it for the exact same reasons. Ewa continued arguing with me,"Can we talk out in the hall about this I'm not having this argument in front of Mo"I said,didn't happen. In the end I walked off the ward very upset and went to have a fag and a cup of tea to calm down with Sue and Lisa,who were also visiting at the time who Ewa also had upset. Before all this 'kicked off' and Sue and Lisa arrived Ewa was giving Mo a drink but she was holding the drink in her mouth and not swallowing for whatever reason. "You have to swallow it Mo or you might choke" Sue said,"Mo you have to swallow the water,dont keep in your mouth you will make it harder for yourself and hurt your throat more" Sue continued."Its ok Mo you swallow it when you want,take as long as you need theres no rush"Ewa said which just upset Sue even more and she had to leave the ward and Mo,otherwise Sue would of said something to Ewa. What Ewa doesn't seem to understand is that sometimes you have to be a bit tough and pushy with Mo to get her to do something,not very often but sometimes. Anyway I went back on the ward and found Ewa feeding Mo because the lunches had arrived,once again I tried to get Ewa to come outside and talk. By this time I was getting quite frustrated and cross with Ewa,"No,in a minute its Mos lunchtime now",and she carried on feeding Mo. Yet again I left the room and was even more upset than the last time and ended up crying all the way through the ground floor,passed all the bays and rooms. The nurses saw me and kept trying to ask me what was wrong,whats upset you, do you want to talk about it I just held up my hand indicating to them no just leave me alone. I found a room at the end of the ground floor and sat in there and just cried my eyes out because Ewa had upset me. I didn't actually go out into the reception area because,even though I was so upset I thought that it was nearing the rest period and that I wouldn't be able to get back in to Mo. Eventually the ward sister found me and asked me why I was upset,through the tears I told her that I got upset because Ewa was prepared to argue with me IN FRONT OF MO and she could hear everything that was going on and I could tell she got upset about it. Ewa didn't notice anything,point scoring was all she seemed to be worried about and totally ignoring how I felt about her feeding Mo. It wasn't REALLY about who was or wasnt giving Mo her lunch but the fact Ewa was prepared to argue with me in front of Mo,she wasn't worried at all about how Mo might of reacted,Mo's feelings or what she heard. Anyone else wouldn't of dreamed about ever doing that,upsetting and distressing Mo even more, shes had more than her fair share of that. As I have said before just because Mo is unable to respond at times doesn't mean she's not aware of whats going on around her day in and day out and she can't hear, whats also going on around her.
